Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Get Shorty

I want to thank Kristen Symank for helping Donna and I set up the blog. Although I am not a technological luddite, when it comes to software setups, however rudimentary, after five minutes my head sometimes turns into a bag of 20 lb. roofing nails. Of course it could just be the "titanium" affect from my artificial ankle. Time will tell.

Kristen is a member of Donna's Hope Community bible group. She is one of God's better ideas and as you can see from the photo - young and pretty..and an inch or two above median female height. I could be wrong, but the last time Donna and I were at her house I thought I saw claw marks on her front door...probably young guys trying to get in to see her. I mention the "looks" part because it may impinge on the following.

About three or four weeks ago Donna mentioned to Kristen that she knew someone who knew someone at church who knew a guy that may be a good fit, date-wise.

Think of all the responses and questions that could follow such a statement. "How much does he look like Brad Pitt?", "Why is he a good fit?", "What are his interests?"

Guess what she said?....."How tall is he?"....I repeat....."How tall is he?"

Dating has a height requirement?"

How long has that been going on?

What else has been kept from me? I just learned about five ears ago that you are supposed to shampoo your hair twice while showering. How was I supposed to know that? Not exactly considered a group viewing activity, I never noticed anyone in the men's shower at the Y getting washed up, towel dried, then going back into the shower and starting anew.

The height thing still puzzles me though. I don't know how I this but i do: Alan Ladd, the movie actor from the 1940's and 1950's (good actor; This Gun for Hire, Shane, and countless westerns), would stand on a box when engaged in a fond embrace with a female co-star. Or the co-star would stand in a hole or ditch to make him look taller. He was extremely good looking, but if his nose would clear the windowsill, then the window was installed close to carpet. The man was short!

So I'm guessing if Kristen jumped into a time machine and went back to the 1950s and Alan Ladd came across her, the meeting would go something like this;

"Hello young lady. I'm Alan Ladd and I would like to take you out on a date."

"No, thank you."

"but I'm Alan Ladd, star of state and screen, beloved by millions of admirers."

"You're short."

"But people tell me I look like Brad Pitt!"

"No Alan Ladd, you're still short and I wear heels. Hit the trail cowboy!"

So when I was a man about town in Boston in the 70s, and believe me, I was not much of a man about town; I was 5'8" (average height of men - 5'9") and therefore, well, short. No one told me I was supposed to carry around a stool...or a shovel. No wonder I had trouble getting second dates.

I always thought it was my car.

1 comment:

  1. Uncle Jim, that's why it says "rinse and repeat" on the bottle! Congrats on your blog!