Sunday, January 24, 2010

Act of Nuitrition

I've been thinking about what I am going to do first when I'm able to be up and about again. As I've mentioned before, I'm very grateful my ankle has a second chance at mobility and I've resolved to be smarter, wiser, and generally more temperate in all things. I plan to exercise for an hour every day, be nicer to the neighborhood children, and consume only food and drink with the word "diet." I may even get taller.

I'm planning all of that; right after a day trip to Carl Sandburg's "city with big shoulders", Chicago. I plan to fly up in the morning and back that night. I'm calling it my "cholesterol tour." Going to hit Lou Mitchell's for a late morning breakfast, then Mr. Beef for lunch.

Lou Mitchell's is located across from Union Station. Donna and I stopped in there prior to taking the Chicago Zephyr out west and we found the best, the very best coffee and donuts ever consumed. You can go South. You can go East. You can go North. You can go West. You will neva, eva, have a better cup of coffee or donut. I may get a plateful before I order flapjacks or some other comfort food for breakfast.

If, during the Battle of Waterloo between the tactical parry and thrusts of England's Duke of Wellington and France's Napoleon Bonaparte, Napoleon asked the Duke where he could get a good cup of coffee and donut; I am sure the Duke would respond, " Lou Mitchell's...just sit down on that stump over there, wait about 130 years, go to Charles Degaulle Airport, hop a plane to Chicago, then take a cab downtown. You can't miss it".
"Who is Degaulle?"
"A French general who helped re-invade France during World War II."
"I am, Napoleon, Emperor of the First French Empire, what did they name after me?"
"A puff pastry and a drink."
"FOOD! I almost conquered the known world! FOOD? Monsieur, France names an important public facility after this rinky dink General, and I get FOOD?"
"Go sit on the stump and wait - you will die a happy man after you have Lou Mitchell's coffee and donuts."
"Did you tell this Degaulle about the coffee and donuts?"

Now when we were at the "Lou" as the locals call it, I didn't see any autographed pictures of Napoleon on the wall so I'm guessing he never made it. Probably couldn't get his sword and scabbard through airport security.

I will then proceed to Mr Beef. Never been there and I understand Mr Beef may be having some IRS issues, so I hope it is still open. The sandwiches are supposed to be so thick that when you bite down, the beef starts shooting out the other end! It is not food consumption. It is an Olympic event! I'm told if you order a bunch of sandwiches at Mr. Beef, and let them dry out, they can be used as attic insulation.

After lunch I will head back to the airport and start a life of Cobb salads. If I have time though, I may stop at the hospital for a cholesterol test. Hope the results don't involve four digits.

I'll let you know.

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