Walter Gets 5

And by the way, isn't the internet wonderful? You can buy all sorts of interesting things online, saving time, money, and the environment. I don't know about you, but I absolutely hate to shop. It is a big waste of time. I especially don't like going with wife Donna since I always seem to spend too much time and money when she is with me. I always dutifully keep a list of items, go to the store, then find I've left the list at home or in the car; I depend on memory and subsequently miss about 1/2 the things I went shopping for. When Donna comes with me, she remembers everything on the list and consequently drives the numbers on the receipt to high elevation and nixes a fast getaway since proper shopping takes a long time. This is, of course, Donna's fault.

I was hoping at this point in my life that needed things, if thought about, would just show up at my house, closet, bookshelf, or refrigerator. Guess I'll have to settle for the internet. It always amazes me that I can order anything I want at 4:00am or 11:30pm hereby imbuing my life with an unaccustomed time management component and allow me to wade into moments of gravitas and the unrelenting search for life's tautological truths.

OK, that too, I'm lazy.

If I could go to Confession online I would. The internet allows me to sample, review, and criticize all things purchased and then go onto sites like YouTube.com and listen to my favorite jazz ballads.

OK, that too, I'm cheap.

I was so impressed with a guitarist on YouTube, Walter Rodrigues Jr, that I went to the directed website,cdbaby.com, and bought his guitar CD on hymns, My Favorite Hymns Vol.1, I never knew thumbing on strings could bring such goodness to life!

When something is ordered online, a confirmation by email follows; very businesslike, prompt, and boilerplate. I wasn't expecting what I received;
---------------------------------

james-

Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

USPS

(1) Walter Rodrigues, Jr: My Favorite Hymns Vol.1

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, July 9, 2010.
We hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. In commemoration, we have placed your picture on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh...
We miss you already. We'll be right here at http://cdbaby.com/, patiently awaiting your return.
--
CD Baby
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Very fanciful. And then I received this email:
----------------------------------------

My Favorite Hymns Vol.1 (Walter Rodrigues, Jr.)
...
From:
Walter Rodrigues
...
Add to Contacts
To: jmullen409@yahoo.com
Dear James,

I would like to personally thank you for purchasing my new album "My Favorite Hymns" Vol.1 from CdBaby. I hope you've enjoyed the music as much as I've enjoyed making it available to you.

I would love to hear your feedback on the cd. If you have a chance, please feel free to add a word or two to the review section of the album.

https://www.cdbaby.com/cd/wrjazzmusic1

Thanks again and God Bless!

Walter Rodrigues, Jr.
--------------------------------------------

Well. It got me to thinking. What if we were all able to exceed the speed limit on the alternate time line expressway and converse with all humankind. Kind of like an Amazon.com review with star ratings:

The Old Man and The Sea - Ernest Hemingway (3 out of 5 stars) Yo! Ernie. Loved the book! Great fish story, but next time enter the old man in a bass tournament at Lake Martin, Georgia. It would be more interesting and you could introduce some girls and beer - and maybe a shark. Oh yeah, way, way too long. If you want anyone to read your books you need to make them a lot shorter. Work on that willya?

Lives of The Twelve Caesars - Suetonius (written in 121 - 2 out of 5 stars) Dude - like the one name thing. Did you get the idea from Sting? I only gave you 2 stars. You did a really good job on the corruption and depravity (way to go Sue!), but you left out the all the war parts. Didn't you read any Tom Clancy?

Holy Bible - God (4 out of 5 stars) SPOILER ALERT, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK. You call that an ending?......
--------------------------------

Well maybe the alternative time line is not a good idea, but I tell you though, in my book guitarist Walter Rodrigues Jr get 5 stars. He has the ability to have his heart run down through his fingers to the guitar. His musical expression lifts my spirits every time I put on the CD. Good art affects, His music affects.

Thank you Walter Rodrigues Jr, the world is a better place because of you and your work.

Wing and Wisdom

I don't know about you, but I find it is getting harder to know the truth and wisdom of things. As I get older, intelligence or "smarts" has lost its glow. A lot of very well intentioned, smart people have taken themselves and us to places we shouldn't be. Think government.

I value wisdom more as I get older even though it is hard to define. Wisdom is like pornography. In that famous statement, Supreme Court Justice Potter Steward said he couldn't define pornography, but knew it when he saw it. Same for wisdom. A 30 year old could analyze his/her situation and start a Roth IRA for retirement; analyzing expense ratios, asset allocations and then rebalencing periodically after consistent investment. None of that is wisdom. Wisdom is knowing that the investment program, once in place, should not take up too much thought, not take up too much life. That is not what we are here for and that gained insight is wisdom.

So I'm happy to report I found wisdom last week when I went to visit the new wing of the North Carolina Museum of Art on Blue Ridge Road. The visit had a low priority. I've driven by the Museum several times, glancing as I went. At first blush, it appeared the powers that be decided to commemorate an aspect of North Carolina life hidden to most of us in the populated areas - a hog farm or a correctional facility, but as I pulled into the entrance, the structure took on interest. After parking I wasn't sure where to go. I followed a small sign that led to what appeared to be the front entrance. The new wing had no concern for placement among the roadways and I then followed a walkway that looked like it led to an exterior glass panel...or a door. The means of entry was not self-evident. I was prepared to suffer public humiliation, walk up to the side of a building and try an open it.

Great.

The glass panel opened up though. It is as if the structure was saying to entrants, "Pay attention Buster. This is not some Walmart you're heading into, this building is special!"

And it is.

When you walk in you are immediately impressed by the interior's clean lines and sparseness. I usually don't like minimalism, but it works here. In some places the tall, white metal, paneled walls reach the sky, literally. Area skylights shed muted but natural illumination that enhance the works of art; in other places whole glass sections welcome the outside coming inside. It must be fun to be there on a rainy day. This is the closest an art museum will come to a convertible or retractable dome sports stadium. The warren of exhibition areas rest on lightly shaded bamboo hardwood floors. The building's design effect lets the art breathe.

How hard it must have been for the designers and museum board members to make sure the space served the art? We all have a need to be liked, including architecture, and to be liked means to be noticed. It would have been easy for the designers to add a "wow" factor, to overshadow the art, to forget its mission, to dance fast to the slow music. How easy it would have been to stick some design embellishments here or there; to say, "Heck with the art!" But no one did. The space serves and honors the art because everyone's eye was on the same ball. If art is a boat then the building is the centerboard. That's wisdom.

What of the art itself? That's up to you. I've always enjoyed art, but I'm no expert. Being in front of a painting beats being in front of a TV anytime. It's always fun to find out what the attraction is to a particular painting or sculpture; trying to find out what the creator is conveying. Many moments can be spent seeking a personal connection with the painter. Why that scene? Why those colors? Why that theme? If writing is thinking with words then painting is, well, thinking with paint. The painter stood in front of the canvas possibly several hundred years ago creating something of value and now we stand in front of the same canvas several hundred years later trying to realize that value. Isn't life interesting!

I won't go into a litany of the works I like because what should matter to you is what you like. The Wing has an eclectic collection and some new acquisitions, a Picasso for one. During my visit I saw people drawn to it. I looked at it and it has incredible strength and power, but to me it's a kerfuffle of power without direction, flat, and without nuance. But what force! As if Picasso randomly opened a shelf full of exterior house paint cans, dipped the barrel of a colt .45 handgun into the cans and then coated the canvas. Rambo after a fine arts course, but a Rambo with talent! Others see things in that painting and as I quickly walked away from it, others lingered. That used to bother me, but as I get older I am comforted by other people's appreciation of things that remain a mystery to me.

So you want a splendid surprise? Go to the North Carolina Museum of Art and open the side of the building. If you tell them Grumpy sent you, they won't charge you admission. Sometimes art seems to be surrounded by a pretension that is off putting, but don't let that put you off. When I go into an art museum I always hope to find the definitive family portrait of Huey, Dewey and Louie. No luck so far but I'm enjoying the search.

I hope you have a search too.




Worth noting: Designed by Thomas Phifer of Thomas Phifer & Partners, NY
Local architects, Pearce Brinkley Cease and Lee Architects of NC


NC Art Museum
2210 Blue Ridge Rd, Raleigh
Hours: Closed Mondays
Tues-Thurs 10am-5pm
Friday 10am-9pm
Sat-Sun 10am-5pm

On Hiatus

Hey - I am taking a month off from this. As usual I approach things backward. I am taking a course on learning how to write and spel and won't have time for this blog until the end of June.

Happy Trails
Grumpy

Grumpy Gets Better

I am my father's son.

During the last ten years or so of my father's life, either my sister or me would take him to get tested at his oncologist and then subsequently visit his family doctor. He had been diagnosed with a malignant tumor on his prostrate when he was about 85 and his prostate was checked yearly for growth. During every visit, his doctor would say, "Well Mr. Mullen, the growth of the tumor is so small, it poses no threat to your life. You will surely be dead from another life threatening condition before the tumor becomes a danger".
"Well Doctor, that's just wonderful news! What a great report!"

I would then take him for coffee and donuts during which he had his customary cigarettes - a life-long smoker. He lived to 96 and the doctor was correct; he died of natural causes and met death the same way he met his days of life - with good cheer and comity.

I went to see my surgeon for a 6 month checkup. If I was a Boeing 777, it would not be considered a "D Check", but enough time had gone by to give some standard outlook on my artificial ankle. I was anxious to know if I was in the "fairway" or the "rough", medically speaking. Was the stiffness and occasional pain normal? Will the discomfort stop? And when? He said I was on the fairway, but that the ankle had "shifted". It may stabilize or I may have to have a rod in my left leg in a year (just what I need - more metal). We'll see.

The doctor and I walked half-way up the hill of artificial ankles, looked over the rise....and saw more mist. That's OK. I felt very relieved and quite good about the visit. I just wanted to know. I think the relief comes from the knowing, both for me and my father.

Actor and writer, Robert Benchley, had it wrong when he said, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't". I think the world is divided into those who want to know and those who don't want to know. I am definitely the former. I guess it must be some strange combination of control issues and curiosity, but I have always been that way. I secretly admire people who "don't want to know".

I recently read an article done by an Emergency Physician called "Avoiding Black Swans". I expected health tips (don't eat anything that tastes good and stay away from anything that gives you pleasure), but the article, apparently based on ER experiences, was filled with, "drive the biggest car you can afford", "don't clean gutters on a ladder", etc.

http://www.bodybyscience.net/home.html/?p=740

The article drove home the point that we are all on a clock and some of us want to know when the battery dies. We need time to assimilate, plan and maybe manipulate. I also don't always know how I am going to react to things. This week our computer crashed and I lost 15 years worth of financial information. Not happy about it, but not all that upset either. Life surprises.

With all that in mind I can picture the following at my death;

"Who are you?"
"I'm an Angel. Who are you?"
"I'm Grumpy".
"Well...let's see...good news Grumpy, you're going to Hell!...no wait...that's the other Grumpy...you, you're going to Purgatory!"
"Great...what's that?"
"You go into a room for 500 years and watch a soccer game".
"No! Not soccer! Look I played soccer in High School and it is a fun game, but boring to watch. I'd rather watch my fingernail grow for 500 years".
"Sorry".
"Look, when I died I had 25,000 frequent flyer miles. I want to upgrade to another channel - any channel".
"You can't redeem miles in Purgatory!"
"Why not - don't they call Him the Great Redeemer?"

Well, you get the idea.
I need to plan.
I need to get more miles.

You're Scaring Me

When we observe something and don't understand it and immediately know we never will, it can be jolting. That ignorance can cause fear and right now I've got ignorance and fear in spades. This I hope will be the only, even remotely, political entry I make.

My two cents.

I've been watching on TV and reading about the illegal immigration mess current in the news. The scariness comes from the strong emotions and feelings this issue generates in a lot of us - and I mean very specifically - people I see during my day. Watching an issue on TV gives a certain distance that allows us analysis and further thought. Listening to people in conversation, people you know, is more immediate and sometimes jarring. I do not understand the emotional purchase this issue (both for and against) takes up in people's minds.

Back in college in the 60's, I did a paper on the country's immigration trends. Over the previous 100 years, the entry "spigot" was uneven; some decades a lot of people entered, other decades, not so many. The motivation always seemed to be the needs of the country. I'm sure some motivations were political, but for the most part America became a country of immigrants and immigrate we did.

And believe me.

You could not find a better pathfinder in the country of complaint and the land of feeling put upon than a college student in the 60's, i.e., me. If there was a hint of unfairness, I could and would have blamed the previous generations with great delight; Like Martin Luther, I would have tacked list of grievances to the door of the political science department that would make Luther's list look like a "post it" note. I had no such list - the river of immigration meandered in some places and flooded in others, but it always seemed to flow.

Why can't we see that flow now? Some would say the reaction is born of racist tendencies. If you want to look through that glass darkly, help yourself. Our history has given some cause. All ethnic groups could pull up a chair at Oprah's table with justification. But I don't believe people's lives are consumed with racism. I don't base that on extensive study and thought. I base it on the fact that in my entire life I've only known two people I would call racist. They deserve pity and prayer, but no consideration in American thought. They are vastly outnumbered.

Others see the the question in moral terms and it is not without a moral tinge. A father in Renosa Mexico that has to feed his family and has no prospects in Mexico may not give another country's immigration laws all that much weight. I know which side of the fence I would be on if I were that man and I think you do too.

But the problem is not morality, but mathematics. If you want to use this issue to delve in liberation theology - don't. If you want to encase the issue with every slight and injustice you've suffered - don't.

The federal government needs to solve this problem. Politics is the art of compromise. We are not going to arrest and deport the estimated 12 million people and we should not give them a pat on the back for being illegal. Set up a worker certification program and a explore a path of eventual citizenship for many. Perhaps not for all, but for many. Like Canada and Australia, we may find reducing general worker visas and increasing highly skilled workers is the way to go. This may cause problems and a rise in illegal migration again, but at least we can work inside a rational framework. One-half of the "Google" founders is a Russian immigrant, Sergy Brin, and he has done a fair job at creating wealth and jobs in America. Long term, the country, the economy and even immigrants benefit. We'll be fine if we remember that this country has been and should continue to be a shining torch of liberty and individual freedom to the world.

That torch is fueled by immigrants.

The Sunflower

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind."
1 Corinthians 13:11

Still working on it.

When I was child, if someone hit me, I hit them back. If someone took something from me, I took something from them. Rough justice in the adolescent, formative years. The actions correspond to the way we are naturally wired - perfect worldly logic in a worldly world.

We're not supposed to act that way? We're not supposed to react in kind? And on top of that, we're supposed to forgive? You've got to be kidding! How inhuman!

But that is exactly what we are called to do. A priest one Sunday, in a short homily quoted Luke 4:11 and said that when we forgive, we are as close to God as we will ever get. Forgiveness is a divine act. That sentiment is not limited to the Gospels. If you open any part of the New Testament, it would be hard not to trip over the concept of forgiveness. To miss it would be like putting on a Beatles CD and not hearing music.

Always knew I was supposed to forgive and always struggled with it. Grudgingly saw it as a duty. My main obstacle is the fact that I tend to be a very judgmental person and judgment blocks the view to forgiveness like a high stone wall that has to be scaled to get to forgiveness and a sense of God. Wife Donna's church, Hope, had a wonderful service one Easter where everyone was given some "post it" notes to write a personal sin/failing and place it on a very large wooden cross. Everyone was being very thoughtful, mustering sagacity for the right word. Not me. Without hesitation, I wrote the word "judgment." If there were a race to that Cross, I would have won. Nice to know I'm good at something.

Hopefully I am better at forgiveness after all these years. Practice may not make perfect, but repetition gives birth to improvement. Some days the stone wall is almost insurmountable and composed of coarse, craggy rocks easily slipped on. Spanning can be difficult, but over the years the routes up the wall have become more familiar and some of the stones have lost their sharp edges. Sometimes, the rocks move and I have to retrace, but as long as I'm moving forward I think I'm doing OK. I don't think God looks for perfection, just effort. Once I scale the wall, I look for guidance and most times prayer works. Enough about me.

If you have the same problem I do, you may find a book I've just finished interesting; "The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness" by Simon Wiesenthal. It is one of the most unique books I have ever read. It came out in 1979 and a revised edition in 1997. In the original, the entire story is printed on the outside cover. The interior pages are full of commentaries about a question the author asks, "What would you do?"

To give a synopsis, the author was a prisoner in a Concentration Camp in World War II. A nun singled him out and brought him to the bed of a dying German soldier, a lapsed Catholic. The soldier told Simon of a horrific war crime and his part in it - he asked for forgiveness. Simon said nothing and left. The soldier died. After the war, in 1946, Simon went to visit the soldier's mother. She talked about her son and how proud she was of him. Simon said nothing and left.

Simon Wiesenthal went on to become the famed "Nazi Hunter" based in Vienna, dedicating his life to bringing Germans responsible for the "Final Solution" to justice. He did his work with documents and information. Perhaps more Mr. Peepers than James Bond, but he was so successful that he retired when he felt all the guilty were caught - so he had a defined sense of the end of things. But clearly, the incident with the soldier, Karl, haunted him. In 1997 he wrote a "revised edition" adding 100 pages to the meeting with Karl; giving more context and detail - and again asked 53 of the "best and brightest", "What would you have done?" I just finished it and even after the second reading, I am still stunned by some of the commentaries, so if you read it, be prepared. There is no commonality of answers or beliefs on forgiveness. We pick a lane in life and run in it. The lane and our run is framed by our beliefs, experiences, and sense of value; they all seem to be different and sometimes in conflict.

The power of the book is that it makes you feel as well as think. What would I do? I thought about it a lot and cannot honestly say, but I think my response would lead back to Simon and Karl. Perhaps the forgiveness is in Simon's urge, his lack of certainty, his writing of the book. Perhaps God knows our limits. Perhaps God lives in Simon's haunting and uncertainty and in Karl's confession. Perhaps for God, that is enough.

If you want my copy and then perhaps pass it along, let me know. I can give it to you or send it to you. It doesn't have to occupy space on the shelf. It occupies space in the heart.

jmullen409@yahoo.com let me know

Say It Ain't So Joe

"In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

"and baseball" - me

You do not have to be a baseball fan to know that recently Joe Mauer (great baseball name), Minnesota Twins catcher, just signed an 8 year, 184 million dollar contract. Yes folks, that's 23 million dollars a year, or $142,000 per game, or $47,000 per hour, or $568.00 per catch (average 250 pitches in a game). One would think that these numbers would require their own "contract", but actually in baseball, the 184 million signing is just called an "extension" of his contract. I tell you.

Here's the intriguing part, he probably could have signed for more money if he bid himself out to the major market teams on the East Coast. To his credit, he's a local guy from St. Paul, his family is settled, and he likes going to his cabin in the North woods of Minnesota every chance he gets. Joe, you like the North? Make Canada an offer for the Province of Manitoba. No don't stop there, how about Hudson Bay?

I haven't seen him play much, but when I did he seems to play with confidence, natural ability and a selflessness not necessarily attendant with today's players. In other words, he's not New York Yankee material. He has averaged 162 games over the past 6 seasons and is a .350 hitter - very, very good. The catcher is the "quarterback" of the defense. Most catchers will determine the type and sequence of pitches thrown to a particular batter, direct field placement of players, and coordinate overall strategy with the manager. They are a combination of field general and CEO. They are required to know their pitchers' strengths and each opposing batters' weakness. They have to have mental book on every player they face throughout the season. In fact, since quarterbacks no longer call their own plays, the catcher is probably the most mentally difficult position to play in all of sports.

But what about the pitcher?

After all, catchers, well, just catch the ball. The catcher can call for a split-fingered fastball, but the pitcher is the one who has to execute it. I don't know how much the Twins' pitching staff gets paid in a season, but I would think they wouldn't cover Joe's salary.

How does his contract compare to past players? Consider pitching. Smoky Joe Wood in 1917 made $15,000 per year; adjusted for inflation that comes to $419,000 in 2010.In this century when baseball always seems to threaten not having one 20 game winner, one year, Smoky Joe won 45 games and lost 5. In 1917, he had an off year, he only won 16 games, but 10 of them were shutouts( no runs scored against him). Pitcher Walter Johnson (The Big Train), no slough himself, said, "no man pitches faster than Smoky Joe Wood". And take Cy Young (The Cyclone), by the numbers the greatest pitcher ever, he was a 30 game winner over 5 seasons and held the strike out record for over 55 years. In 1890, Cy was "sold" to the Cleveland team for $300.

In 1960-1963, Ted Williams (The Splendid Splinter), Willie Mays, and Micky Mantle crashed through the $100,000 per year ceiling. To watch Williams at the plate was an appointment with grace. His strikeouts had more natural refinement that most players' hits. Their 2010 equivalent salaries would equal $150,000 today. Of course, the average ticket price at Fenway Park in 1960 was $1.76 - so everything is relative.

You can argue (and in baseball - argue we love to do) that early last century, the players really weren't that good. Today's good players hit in the 300s and play 162 games per season. Pitchers throw in the mid-80 to 90 mph range. They are in better shape and play deeper into their careers.

I would not argue that.

Although it is difficult to compare with any certitude, Cy Young in the 1930s was taken to a ballistic factory and had a pitch speed measured at 92 mph. I don't know for sure, but pre - radar gun, his throwing velocity must have been compared with a gunshot (why else at a ballistic factory?) Talk about faster than a speeding bullet. The average season for the first half of last century was 152 games.

I think we tend to view the past in sepia. The players back then had a lot of beer consumption (even during the games), chewing tobacco, and no spring training; we have Oaklies, spandex, Red Bull, free weights, and well, human growth hormones. But answer this. Best against the best. Why did it take so long to break Cy Young's strikeout record, Babe Ruth's multiple records, and so far no player has hit Williams .400 for the season since 1941?

But I'm arguing against my feelings.

If the Twins want to pay; good luck Joe. Baseball season will start in a few days. One of the things I love about baseball is the traditions. Prior to every game played, at every level, the opposing coaches meet the umpire at the plate to review the rules of the game. With sweeping arms, the umpire points out the chalk borders running down the field by first and third base. If seen from above, the borders represent a diamond. At the apex of the diamond swats the catcher. Not always, but many times, the umpire will finish the conference with the command, "Have fun and enjoy the game." The chalk frames a picture of summer. Joe Mauer at it's apex.

This Easter on ESPN at 8pm, Red Sox vs Yankees. I don't ever remember watching baseball on Easter and probably won't watch the entire game, but may tape it. I want to see if the Easter Bunny comes in as a reliever. May be interesting if the Bunny's performance is dependent on a contract "extension."