tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2482848893681881492024-03-13T03:10:40.682-07:00Grumpy Gets BetterGrumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-16503827947680239042021-08-09T08:24:00.000-07:002021-08-09T08:24:54.236-07:00<div class="separator"><div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Diner Sign Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images" class="rg_i Q4LuWd" data-ils="4" height="123" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTtyrK--cH9kpknsu1ZxQx59alK7p03TtdYNg&usqp=CAU" width="200" /></div><p style="text-align: left;"> Mind, Body, Soul…and Eggs<br /><br />I went for a 7am breakfast at the Eggs Up restaurant the other day. Half-way through the meal a young couple took an adjacent booth. As they were ordering, the man said, “I don’t like eggs, what do you recommend?” I guess he didn’t see the restaurant sign…but as it turns out, they have really good pancakes and waffles so the waitress had no problem. When I looked over, I noticed a large crucifix tattoo on his outer leg.<br />Then I picked up some of conversation in the back corner; a bunch of 30-something guys. I heard “truck” references as well as “christian and God” interspersed with the slurping of coffee. <br />I was boxed in, I felt like I was at church.<br />So I started thinking. My prayer hasn’t been on full potential lately, and I’ve learned that when I need to try and fix something, the on/off switch needs to be toggled so I can go back to some basics - like a mathematician going back to the multiplication tables. Lately, when I pray on my back deck, all I seem to hear is road construction, a passing car, and jets 20,000 feet up leaving vapor trails, and not the whisperings of God wafting through the high pines. I need God in the rhythm of my life.<br />Do I believe in God - check. What does God want me to do? I’m not smart enough to answer that, but I have references. (Matthew 22:37-39, “Love the Lord your God will all your heart, soul, and mind…Love your neighbor as yourself.”)<br />How do I do that? I guess that’s up to each person, grounded in humility but with guidance from their church. I’m Catholic so I have the magisterium of the Church. <br />My life is now on the other side of the 7th inning stretch. I can write a check, but can’t lift a shovel for even half a day. I can help others in various ways, but my mission trips are over….but… I like my eggs scrambled, over easy, over medium, well done, and hard-boiled. There are plenty of things still to do. I’ve been lucky to have a caring wife, wonderful parents, and a big sister. If I need inspiration, I’ve looked to them and their lives.<br />And I can pray - and submit to the mystery of the prayer process. God wants to hear from all of us, anyway we choose. Catholics have many platforms of prayer; the rosary, meditation, novenas, the Hours, and so on. We have long prayers and short ones, Veni Sancte Spiritu (Enter,Holy Spirit), all types of conversations with God. You may be with another church, no matter, if you believe in God you want to talk to Him in a way you find meaningful and humble - and He wants to talk to you.<br /> Nota Bela: I’ve always admired our Protestant brothers and sisters ability for spontaneous corporate prayer, but if you don’t want the food to get cold, don’t let them say the blessing…(;-). <br />As a goal, I try to meet God in conversation with my head bowed in supplication, but my heart open, honest, and wanting. I know He knows my heart and during that time I need to open up myself, and let Him know of my gratitude, my fears, and my intentions. My failing is that too many times, I am impatient and the words from me are spoken half-heartedly and come out of me as if on a spool of barbed wire. And although the traditional ways of prayer are very important, sometimes, more than I care to remember, they become stated tasks of the day. I’m realizing now that I was pushing the words, moving faster than grace allows. And I haven’t even gotten to my excuses and vacillation; life gets hectic, I don’t feel worthy, I’ll get to it later, I want to stop and birth my own perfect prayer, all excuses so I don’t have to meet God half-way…no, half-way is wrong. God wants to meet any way.- and too often I’ve put God on a clock and failed to hear God’s whispers and treated prayer like a vending machine, insert a prayer and pull the knob. <br />So without realizing it, I’ve had it backwards. I thought I was waiting on God, but He was waiting on me. <br />I think I’ll sit on the back deck awhile, be humble and still. See what happens.<br />One of the lessons learned from The Great Divorce, a novel about people that went heaven and found it lacking, CS Lewis wrote, “Overcome us that, so overcome, we may be ourselves: we desire the beginning of your ring as we desire dawn and dew, wetness at the birth of light…<br />I’m glad I went to breakfast. I’m grateful to God for the man with the tattoo and the group of men in the corner.<br /><br /></p></div>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-26219958677302997292020-07-03T12:06:00.002-07:002020-07-03T12:06:41.951-07:00Days of Rage, Days of Confusion<br />
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<br /> "The more I read the papers,<br />
The less I comprehend..."<br />
-George Gershwin lyrics<br />
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Back in 1968 when I had a summer job during college, I worked at the Quincy Shipyard in Massachusetts as an insulator on submarines. It was hot and dirty work, and if I remember correctly, I made $2.44 an hour. I used 2 hours of that work to purchase my first hardback book, The Second Civil War by Garry Wills. The author spent 2 months in 9 cities that had burned in the urban riots of 1967. Many folks think the inner-city riots occurred because of the MLK assassination in 1968, but actually, they happened a year before. <br />Will’s book could never be written today. He interviewed all sides; from police, govt. planners, black leaders, and ministers - he did so without bias - and let the reader absorb his words and come to their own conclusions.<br />Protesters today complain about the militarization of the police, but in 1967, 7,000 national guardsman and 9 tanks were deployed in Detroit alone. The official report stated that 43 people died and 1400 buildings were destroyed by fire. One black businessman saw the burning decimated frame of his motel, then committed suicide. A young US Representative from inner-city Detroit, John Conyers, said the death count was under-reported and believed the deaths to be in the hundreds. <br />Reading Will’s book is like watching burning boats flow down a river of violence. We readers probably thought at the time this urban conflagration was a once-in-a-lifetime event. We were wrong.<br />In 1967, Rev. Albert Cleage of Detroit said, “The white man has to give us control of the cities. If he doesn’t, he leaves no alternative but violence.” A few days ago on Fox News, Hawk Newsome of Black Lives Matter-NY said, “If this country doesn’t give us what we want, then we will burn it down.” All this in a span of 57 years. Social cohesion moves at the speed of a glacier.<br />Back in 1967 Detroit, the minority unemployment rate was 9%, today it is 16%. All this after one of the greatest transfer of government spending in US history - The Great Society programs of the 60s/70s. In my opinion, the government does have a role in tackling trenchant, measurable problems, but not large scale, cultural ones. We just can’t throw money at big problems and expect success. <br />Our cities are troubled, but they continue to be the main arteries of our country. The prologue of Will’s book involves the problem of the individual policeman. A Community Relations officer in the book stated, “Police are constantly exposed to the seamiest side of life in the ghetto. Besides, a cop has to be suspicious if he is any good. And our men are scared. They take their lives in their hands every day they go to work. The last three policemen to be killed here were surprised before they could get at their weapons…” Yes, there are bad police just as there are bad doctors, teachers, and managers. Remove them and if necessary, punish them for the individual offenders they are.<br />I think when you throw the super-human demands of police enforcement against a large-scale and unpredictable protest that can sometimes morph into violence, the fabric of the country can become endangered, but that is the time, the very time, more enforcement is needed, not less. Peaceful protest is part of our republic, but when you keep pulling a loose thread on a sweater and keep pulling, you don’t end up with a better sweater, you end up with no sweater.<br />And yes, this social cohesion is difficult to balance. One the one hand, control of the streets is necessary if these problems are to be tackled and addressed. On the other hand, I’ve known enough minority co-workers and neighbors in North Carolina that view a traffic stop much differently than I do - even when there’s an even chance the police officer is a minority. These situations need to be talked about and addressed. <br />This is all that much more difficult because we seem to exist in a nadir of leadership, from top to bottom. We have a President Trump who will not encourage masks during an epidemic(He changed that yesterday - yea!) and his possible replacement, VP Biden if elected, may require adult day care while in the White House. What a choice!<br />Sadly, this lack of leadership reaches into some local police chiefs. The new Raleigh Police Chief, after a night of rioting, held a press conference to bemoan the damage but then stated her officers are too valuable to protect downtown property in the future. What?? And a few days later, during a prayer parade in a neighboring town, police officers (at the behest of their chiefs), washed the feet of protest ministers in an awkward display of public supplication. IMHO, a complete misreading of John 13. It's not often that municipal public relations and the Bible can be offended at the same time.<br />Perhaps there are many answers to these many problems, though, measured in inches and not miles. Last year I attended a boisterous meeting full of community disagreement and complaints that were moderated by our town’s police sergeant. With patience and grace, he listened then answered the concerns of the group. Everyone went home feeling better.<br />And just this. Several years ago my niece, a mother with young children, was in terror at the wailing sounds of sirens bracketing her Somerville neighborhood as police cars patrolled and searched for the Boston Bomber. <br />That activity would not be in a social worker’s job description.<br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-61021962861861170392020-05-25T14:01:00.000-07:002020-05-25T14:13:01.376-07:00Unremembered Veteran?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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They say that war is never over until the last veteran dies. But what if a veteran’s death has no one to remember him?<br />
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For the last few weeks Donna and I have been cleaning out Donna’s 96-year-old stepmother’s apartment. She recently fell and is now in a total care facility. We found a Purple Heart Medal that my wife thought was her father’s since he served as a Marine during WWII, but the back of the medal has the name of his brother, Richard S. Greene.<br />
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We know nothing about him. There is no one left to ask.<br />
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All of Richard’s brothers and sisters in the Greene family have passed away, and Donna’s stepmother’s memory has tapered to a slender thread. However, through the tenacity of our friends Larry and Maryann Williams and Larry’s sister, Angele, some things came together from documents and articles found by them on Ancestry.com.<br />
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Richard died on November 9th, 1944 in Northern France. He graduated from high school in 1943 and one month later joined the US Army. He must have scored well on his army tests because after basic training he was sent to Northeastern University in Boston for 4 months under a program that developed junior officers and soldiers that required special technical skills. But manpower needs must have trumped manpower planning. He was assigned to the 26th Infantry Division, 101st Regiment (The Yankee Division), and shipped out to Europe as a qualified machine gunner in September 1944.<br />
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According to records, he died from a fatal shoulder wound caused by artillery fire. From what we can speculate, his unit was working around Dieuze or Moncourt Woods in northern France. His lifespan did not extend to the Battle of The Bulge that started a month later. As part of Patton’s Third Army, his regiment distinguished itself in hard fighting and had a part in helping end the war in Europe. The Division’s last event was liberating a concentration camp in Czechoslovakia, an action that presented hard witness for the soldiers’ sacrifice.<br />
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Richard was 19 years old and had a fiancé.<br />
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The news must have been tragic for his 5 brothers and sisters and in particular for my wife’s father, Donald, who was serving in the Marine Corps at the time. Richard’s obituary’s title in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle states, “Richard S. Greene, Machine Gunner”.<br />
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I am sure he was more than that in life. Even a 19-year old’s life creates widening ripples before and after the date of the obituary.<br />
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There are voluminous books about WWII and a cursory reading will teach a reader that one person alone did not affect the war’s outcome. But each soldier, taking small steps, taking even an inch of ground, gains progress toward the end of the conflict. Any US combat veteran will tell you that his friends didn’t die with thoughts of the Constitution, our democracy, or the security of the country… but by their actions, nourished its continued heartbeat. <br />
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And even though they didn’t know him, I’ll bet some of those concentration camp inmates appreciate him and his Purple Heart. God Bless Richard, RIP…<br />
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<br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-24552672229055510332020-02-25T15:37:00.000-08:002020-02-25T15:55:19.279-08:00Spring Training<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><img alt="" class="sJziSe To82vb" data-atf="false" data-deferred="1" data-iml="989723" 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<a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<br />
<br />
A good thing about being in my 70s is that life slows down. When I was younger, I figuratively had a lot of fastballs throw at me; some belt-high, some at my head. But now I see mostly off-speed stuff which allows me to enjoy the ball’s symmetry and its gravitational arc as it crosses the plate.<br />
<br />
Yup, things have definitely slowed down. These days I seem to do more seeing than doing these days, not a bad development when you think about it. It can be difficult to concomitantly <i>do</i> and <i>appreciate</i>, but one can <i>see</i> and <i>appreciate</i> something at the same time. I don’t know why that is, but there is a richness in life now that wasn’t there before.<br />
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Tomorrow we enter the season of Lent, and not to overstate the baseball analogy, we can enter our own spring training and place ourselves before God. We don’t have to sequester in the desert and be tempted for 40 days. Christ did that for us. But starting tomorrow, we are called to look within ourselves -not in a forbidding way, getting fitted for that hair shirt and beating ourselves up -but thinking about our shortcomings with an eye toward improvement, gaining more purpose in our lives.<br />
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Much earlier in life, for me as a Catholic, I gave up things during Lent. Purportedly to honor God, but many times it became a bargaining tool, to petition for something I wanted. But in Lent, I now realize it’s thinking and talking to God for help. I need more God in my life…and less Jim.<br />
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I hope, by turning inward this year, Lent will lead me outward. To bring purchase to the heartbeat of God, and secure in a humble way, God’s love. And give me the ability to realize the good in others and will it for them. <br />
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Simple stuff really.<br />
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And the good news? No matter what, God will keep throwing those off-speed pitches as we get older. He has an eternal supply.<br />
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(hat courtesy of google images)Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-14848937800570021022018-05-21T17:36:00.001-07:002018-05-21T17:36:16.738-07:00A Good 16 Minutes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I can’t stand to watch the
morning news with my coffee anymore, and there are only 200 or so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Law and Order</i> episodes, so I like to
sample <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Youtube</i> and found Anne
Lamont’s TED talk on 12 truths she came up with as she approached her 61<sup>st</sup>
birthday. She can be acerbic at times, but always interesting and humorous. I
know your time is valuable, so I’ve listed just a few of her insights, but you
owe it to yourself to go on Youtube and listen to her. The talk lasts 16 minutes. Most are direct quotations
mingled with some paraphrasing.</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Anne Lamont: The 12 Truths I Learned from Writing and
Life – TED talk</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m not 47, the age I like
to feel but I’m not. I’m every age I’ve ever been and so are you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“All truth is a
paradox. Life is a precious, unfathomable, and a beautiful thing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“Almost
everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Almost nothing
outside of you will help you in a lasting way unless you’re waiting for an
organ. You can’t buy or achieve or date serenity or peace of mind. I so resent
that, but improvement is an inside job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try not to compare your insides to other
people’s outsides. We’re all broken at times. No one could help me get sober
except me. I had to reach out to my higher power that I call God. An acronym
for God can be “gift of desperation.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Chocolate is not actually
a food.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“Grace is
spiritual WD40. The mystery is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir
Putin and me exactly as much as he loves my grandchild. Go figure. The movement
of grace is what changes us, heals us. Grace finds you exactly where you are
but doesn’t leave you where it found you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“Laughter is
carbonated holiness that lets us breathe.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“God means
goodness. A good name for God is not me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">“Food. Try to do
a little better. I think you know what I mean.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Death – “We Christians like to think of death as a
major change of address, but the person that died will live again fully in your
heart if you don’t seal it off.” Leonard Cohen said, “There are cracks in
everyone. That’s how the light gets in.”</span></div>
<br />
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<![endif]--><br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-76828769081085988642018-01-12T15:44:00.000-08:002018-03-07T12:54:38.145-08:00 The Bridge<!--[if !mso]> <style>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The sun heats up another working day</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Coffee, tea, and I’m on my way</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Try to beat the traffic</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">And maybe yesterdays time</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Try to make a little progress</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In what’s lookin like a lateral climb.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>-“</span></i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Lateral Climb”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, </i>lyrics by Robben Ford</span></div>
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At his last station my son was assigned to the Staten Island Coast Guard unit in NYC and lived in military housing near Fort Wadsworth, under the long shadow of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge. From there it’s difficult to get a good line-of-sight on the structure since it seems to melt into NYC's turgid skyline. The bridge connects the boroughs of Brooklyn and Staten Island and was completed in 1964. It is still, after 50 years, the longest suspension bridge in the world. </div>
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During the construction, a young reporter, Gay Talese, wrote a series of articles for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The NY Times </i>and a subsequent book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Bridge</i>. Mr. Talese went on to great acclaim and was instrumental in the “New Journalism” school of journalism. He recently updated the book for the 50<sup>th</sup> anniversary of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, and a wonderful book it is. The photos throughout the book are worth the purchase.</div>
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His writing impresses, both in ways small and large. He can write with economy – describing someone speaking with “whisky words,” that fills the situation perfectly - and encapsulating the Red Hook section of Brooklyn in the 60s when it was “marriage before sex.” If a deeper profile of the bridgemen is needed, he gives it:</div>
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“In appearance, boomers usually are big men, or if not always big, always strong, and their skin is ruddy from all the sun and wind. Some who heat rivets have charred complexions; some who drive rivets are hard of hearing; some who catch rivets in small metal cones have blisters and bloody burns marking each miss; some who do welding see flashes at night while they sleep…Many boomers have mangled hands and fingers sliced off by slipped steel. Most have taken falls and broken a limb or two. All have seen death.”</div>
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Depending on the need, he writes inside a large or small strike zone. If this writer had played baseball, he’d be a lifetime .380 hitter and in Cooperstown. He’s that good. I read somewhere that Mr. Talese commissions custom-made slippers from Italy at $500 a pair and unfailingly writes in them. </div>
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That must be it, the slippers.<br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as you can tell from the above quotation, the book, at its center, is not about the Bridge or the engineering, politicians, or bureaucrats involved. It’s about the body and soul of things; the inspiration and creation. The heart of that body and soul is the men who pieced it together.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The bridge:</b> It ties 2 city boroughs across a 2 ½ mile span. Started in 1959, it was completed in 5 years and provides a road for 190,000 vehicles a day. The N-V doesn’t bring attention to itself because it’s hard to get a good line-of-sight on a structure that crosses, then melts into New York’s skyscrapers. The Verrazano may not possess the romantic naturalism of the Golden Gate or the impressive pedigree of the Brooklyn Bridge, but it did what it was created to do without fanfare. It is the type of bridge your mother would want you to marry.</div>
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You want numbers? Gay Talese supplies them. More than 8,000 homes were leveled to make room for construction; the four main construction cables came in at 38,290 tons and comprised 36 miles of wire; 2 anchors hold back that wire with 240,000-pound pull tension. The 2 towers at each end are 10 story structures comprised of 47,000 cubic yards of concrete. And so on.</div>
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The thing is big.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Men: </b>I’m taking some liberties here, but the bridgemen, or boomers as they were called, can be lumped into four construction groups. The most skilled were the “connectors”, the men who placed and secured steel sections of the bridge working at unsupported heights up to 400 feet above water. Next came the 4-man rivet gangs, each one cooked, then threw hot rivets to others who caught them in metal mitts. The author writes the gangs tossed those rivets up to 50 feet through the high air as gracefully as infielders. On average, one thousand rivets were driven into the bridge every day. Then came the “punks”, runners who climbed the catwalks and brought materials to other bridgemen. Lastly, were the “pushers” or semi-supervisors who prodded the crews. </div>
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The boomers were paid every Friday in cash envelopes by 4 clerks who traveled up and down the catwalks to distribute the pay while the bridgemen worked. As you can imagine, some lost their pay to high wind when bridgeman understandably opened his envelope to verify the paymasters count.</div>
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Many of their names and titles given to their situations are colorful and descriptive: Ice Water Charley, Hard Nose Murphy, Benny the Mouse, Cinderella Man James Braddock (yes, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> James J. Braddock), Keeping the Wheel from Benny, and The Rabbit. The Rabbit is quoted as saying:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Windy days, of course, are the hardest. Like you’re walking across an eight-inch beam, balancing yourself in the wind, and then, all of a sudden, the wind stops – and you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">temporarily lose your balance</i>. You quickly straighten out – but it’s some feeling when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> happens.”</div>
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Indeed.</div>
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No bridgemen were invited to the opening day ribbon-cutting ceremony in 1964. After completion, they eventually scattered to other jobs - other bridges, nuclear power plant construction, and walked the high steel of new skyscrapers. As I was finishing up the book, I thought of Jimmy Breslin’s gravedigger at JFK’s funeral, working in the background and performing the most important task of the day before going unnoticed by the crowds.</div>
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When I look back at my working life, I’ve never been involved with projects of a permanent nature. I managed or was paid to provide services that left no permanent wake. I tried to take pride in what I did and during the workday strove to limit my small mistakes and expand the good decisions. But unlike my father, his brothers, and my uncle - shipyard workers all - nothing concrete has followed me into retirement. I envy those who can look over their shoulder and point to their work.</div>
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[….all of them building something big and permanent, something that can be revisited years later and pointed to and said of: “See that bridge over there, son – well one day, when I was younger, I drove twelve hundred rivets into that goddamned thing.] Page 5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-54703615486830495062017-11-10T10:26:00.000-08:002017-11-10T10:28:32.665-08:00 Random Thoughts on a Long Pedal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve turned over a new leaf, or new spoke, in that I bike on
the NC Triangle’s Tobacco Trail once or twice a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a converted rail track that spans about
24 miles and is straight and flat. I do about 16 miles which is the limit of my
artificial ankle and a goodnight’s sleep. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most times I go with my friend, Larry
Williams, aka Kayak Larry. We pedal next to each other down the path starting
in New Hill for about 5 or 6 miles as I regale him why everyone is against me and
that life has never, ever given me a fair shake. Oh, the injustice! But after
30 minutes or so, Larry accelerates down the trail without me like the
Roadrunner does in those cartoons; then waits for me at a cross street or rest station
in the next town. What can I say, my name is mud.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But lately Larry has been on a long sojourn in Italy
followed by hikes in Western NC on the App Trail and Blue Ridge Parkway. I miss
him, but the solitude and my ITunes playlist make it bearable. During the week
when everyone is working, the trail is lightly traveled, and November is almost
the end of summer so autumn is the perfect time to pedal. Solitude meets low
humidity. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With my playlist punched in, I scissor down the path with an
Elise Robineau Adagio. I imagine I’m riding on the crushed stone path that
belts around Lake Lucerne in an early morning mist, then “Billy’s Theme” by
Jessica Williams, puffing the perimeter of Manhattan’s Central Park. Three
miles in, I thumb a short Zydeco tune – the perfect bike music. The Creole
music is brief because in the middle of the woods, I don’t want to reach even
the lowest edge of Tachycardia. With “Bye, Bye Boozoo” by Beau Soliel, I’m
pedaling on the flat expanse next to Bayou Teche in Louisiana. Then Stephane
Grappelli in Paris and Oscar Peterson almost anywhere. What fun! I’m positive everyone
I passed must have admired my form. In the music, I pedaled like a dizzy snake.
We can’t always go through life riding the break.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also biked with happy thoughts knowing I finally solved
the ointment issue. Men, unlike women, develop certain medical issues when biking
(okay, okay…chafing). As you know, unlike the female, men have outside plumbing…I’ll
say no more. On previous rides, I’ve tried an ointment from our medicine
cabinet that Donna had recommended a week or two before. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a long name that I thought started with
the letter “m”. She told me afterwards that I used the wrong ointment on two
consecutive occasions – the tube I applied had the opposite medicinal remedy,
i.e., skin tightening. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, this
must be all her fault. In her defense, Donna told me, somewhat unconvincingly,
she left the appropriate tube by our sink. My defense is that the “m” tube I
chose looked important, and besides, I wasn’t paying much attention to her when
she was advising me, and besides that the print on the tube was too small to
read. No matter, I forgive her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Third time is a charm
though. I wrote <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bike</i> in bold magic
marker on the correct ointment and brought it with me in my bike bag.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But that got me thinking. Why do men have outside plumbing
and women the reverse? In other words, why does God like women more than men?
Any argument to the contrary will provoke a question by me, “Have you ever been
in a baseball catcher’s stance and missed a fastball without the benefit of
support? Well, have you?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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That’s a question only God can answer. I kept thinking,
though, and started to put the playlist in the background and wonder about God.
With age I try to seek the experience of God instead of just reading what
others have written. In a paradoxical way, that experiencing leads back to
thought. After several mile markers on the trail, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Our Father </i>suddenly popped in my head and I started reciting it. It’s
my go-to prayer from Matthew. I always say it as a first gesture of worship
when I go to Mass. Perhaps because it’s so grand in scope, so full of God’s
purpose. I thought about how many times I’ve said that prayer (6 times in the
rosary…6 times forever) and not focused on the 2 words in the title. If I’d
thought about it at all, it was in an ethereal way. If you’re a Christian, you
believe that God is the Father of the trinity, the Creator, and through
inference, our father. John says God is love; He is with us always, comforting,
teaching, guiding, correcting, and hoping we obey His will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hard to see for us sometimes, although easier
to see in other people’s lives.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that, but the
thing I ran through my mind on the Trail and became a deeper realization. He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> my father – he sent Bud and Millie to
be my parents (and great parents they were!), but in the bigger picture, His
love encompasses all His creation – and by creation, I mean all of us. Bud and
Millie were my and my sister’s parents and He, being our father, was theirs. Just
as my sister, Nancy, and I, are parents now, and so on and so on. He is our
father in fact and not just spiritually. See what I mean? My bike goes in a straight
direction, but my thoughts go circular. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the one hand regarding worship, I thought about the fact
that I’m an alcoholic and alcoholics have large egos – it’s baked in. I can
easily veer from intimacy and worship of God to my own self-importance – and
I’m cognizant of that danger. I can make myself the biggest profile on God’s tapestry
of faith – so a push-back occurs, and I strive to humble myself, limit myself
to being one link on the theological chain and a small one at that. It may make
me humble, but if I raise the guardrails too high, I make God humble as well.
And God is not humble. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No He’s not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, my worship can be filled with another tension.
As I get older, I realize more and more that we’re in the post-modern age of
relativism where culture cuts God’s anchor chain of truth, and we consequently substitute
ourselves as the last word on morality. Even many believers do this at times,
and I’m not excluding myself. During the ride, I think about my time left in
this world, and to retrench and use it to follow God. To obey…even when I don’t
understand, even when it’s hard, even when I don’t agree, or think it’s just, even
when I don’t understand. I will do it imperfectly, but I will try. </div>
Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-74966806821478225662017-06-13T15:21:00.004-07:002017-06-13T15:21:34.738-07:00Donna Gets Better<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I found the following email in a draft file from last summer that I planned to share on FB...but, ahem, forgot to do so. It's from June, 2016.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">-----------------</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We were heading out to a ballgame when Donna told me that she had
symptoms that mimicked heart trouble. She ended up having a cardiac
catheterization – she then was discharged with good numbers and no discernible
heart issues. She was in the hospital for 4 days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I was in her room most of the time – talking, reading, writing, and
observing the nursing staff…and it was a sight to behold. I have never seen a
more caring group of people. Donna had 3 RNs and 2 Techs who were outstanding, each in a
unique way. They shared competence, hugs, answers, follow-ups, and unlimited re-assurance.
They saw Donna’s anxiousness and addressed it. They comforted while dispensing.
They were wonderful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I had time to think a lot while I was in the hospital room. I had
been to my mechanic, Mike, a few days earlier. He put on two new tires for me. One tire had reached the
end of its tread life, and the other had open steel belts that glided on the
asphalt without the benefit of rubber – a kind of automotive arthritis. Mike is
honest and gives me a fair price on parts and repairs – always has
the car ready when he says it will be. He gives a good account for himself at
work, and I’m sure in life. He likes fixing things, but he is no nurse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">He doesn’t have to talk to the car or be concerned for its feelings or
anxiety. He doesn’t have to deal with the car’s family wishes, or take any
blame. The car doesn’t care.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The nursing staff at Rex hospital in Raleigh are special. I saw them leave at the end of the
day, and they left everything on the field.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In whatever afterlife they believe in – they will get the floor seats. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">No question.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Donna and I went out yesterday, spent some money, and bought each one of them
a box of expensive chocolates (not the dinky ones at the end of the aisle in
CVS. No Sir!) and attached a personal card. I gave Donna a list of each
person’s attributes as a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">suggestion</i>
of what to write. I know, I’m awful. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We wanted to acknowledge and honor their work. I hope that chocolate
gains altitude and jets into their hearts and heads and stays there for a while.
Although being chocolate, that time may be abbreviated.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">During her stay, too many people were texting Donna in the hospital. I finally made a
suggestion…with tongue firmly planted in cheek…indicating to all the texters she would love a
home-made apple pie (my favorite, not hers) to help in her recovery.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Those folks know me, know I’m kidding, and know apple pie is my favorite.
So viola! We come home and there are 2 pies at our front door!</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I spoke with my friend kayak Larry, and when I stated my shock, he said,
“We never know when you’re kidding.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I feel real guilty about it. Maybe I’ll feel better... if I have another
piece.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Next time I’m just asking for money.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3u5aKj3rTAY/WUBlNjTjtlI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/rI_DZXjOCBAoWcrnyqoUi0ANhT3PblmuQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0559.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3u5aKj3rTAY/WUBlNjTjtlI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/rI_DZXjOCBAoWcrnyqoUi0ANhT3PblmuQCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0559.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
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</div>
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Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-48339754546290822462017-01-31T08:35:00.000-08:002017-01-31T08:35:09.312-08:00So Long, Farewell to 2016<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<![endif]-->“Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica
in a long stretch of gray cement.”
<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">-A Short Guide To A
Happy Life, </i>by Anna Quindlen<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</i> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First the bad news from 2016. Out of approximately 90 posts
from this blog, I’ve lost 30. My fault. I never backed them up with a flash
drive since it was on Google, and I thought that if I ran into a problem, I
could rely on Google support. Little did I know there is no Google support to
speak of. Out of the 30 or so posts, I would like to recoup one, the“30 Years
and a Wake Up” - about my alcoholism. If by some remote chance you have it,
please let me know. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now the good news from 2016.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everything else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Throughout the year two ideas attached themselves
willy-nilly to my thinking like Post-it notes. One involved a renewed
appreciation of family and friends; another the value of time. As I age, I seem
to favor the familiar. I think of my wife Donna and how much happiness she has
brought into my life. I am so, so grateful she has opened up her life and
allowed me to enter. I don’t deserve her and don’t tell her often enough how
much she means to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful to my life-long friend, Jack, and the hours
we’ve spent on the phone discussing Boston sports and growing up in a south
shore suburb. Our memories will die a hard death as long as we have cell
phones.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful to my friend Larry. He doesn’t live life; he
ignites it. He presents enthusiasm and good cheer to everyone he meets – every
day. He’s fun to be around, and I have fond memories of our biking, kayaking,
and working on the disassembly of my clothes dryer - on our knees - on my garage
floor. What will 2017 bring? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful for my sister, the original energizer bunny,
who will not only survive the encroaching dystopian zombie apocalypse; she will
thrive. Her time will be spent transporting the neighborhood zombie children to
elementary school and then arranging quality childcare. She’ll do medical runs
from New Hampshire to Mass General Hospital in Boston when the zombie parents’
limbs start falling off. As long as she doesn’t breech the entrance to any
remaining retail space (Can’t you just see the New Hampshire store signs just
over the border? “No Massachusetts sales tax – Zombies 10% off on Tuesdays.”),
she’ll be just fine. The zombies and I will be grateful for her efforts in the
coming years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful to live in a tree with so many strong branches.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During these yearly summary type of things, I dislike folks
who recommend the best movies/books of the year. I, of course, would never do
that. You’re an adult, you can figure it out yourself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Best movie you’ve never heard of in 2016: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ll See You In My Dreams</i> – teaches baby
boomers that life still has some atrial fibrillation to it, and besides you get
to hear Blythe Danner sing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a trip to
Northern Ireland, Donna and I saw flags designating protestant or catholic
neighborhoods. The movie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">71</i> (Netflix)
explains the context – but very violent and exhausting to watch. Don't worry about acquiring a comfortable seat - you'll be on the edge of whatever seat you choose. Also liked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me Before You</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Before You Go</i> (also Netflix). I liked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Before You Go</i> a lot. I don’t know why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Books: I told myself in my late 20s I’d found the great
American novel – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Great Gatsby- </i>and
that I would read it every year. I read it last year for probably the 4h time.
The characters aren’t as engrossing this time out, but they still live inside
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s wonderful words. Also re-read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Friends of Eddie Coyle</i> by George V Higgins. The best crime
novel ever written according to Elmore Leonard. It’s filled with gratuitous
sexual references and plenty of misogyny so be warned, but I named a restaurant
in my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Boston Harbors Murder</i> novel,
“Dave Foley’s Steakhouse,” in honor of a character in the book. The 1973 movie
is just as good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So one book about broken dreams, another about broken bones.
The characters in those books should have listened to their mothers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have noticed that as I age, somebody moves the chains when
I’m not looking. I was filled with disgust during the 2016 Presidential race – with
both party candidates. In retirement, my morning routine involved strong coffee
and cable news, but the election coverage became so depressing, I turned to YouTube
videos on our new smart TV. I bounced from auto detailing in a snowstorm (I’m
not kidding), to Duke Ellington At Newport, to a Maserati Ghibli road test, to
the best technique for wall painting with a roller, to the proper way to tie a bowtie. One after the other. Talk about your cognitive dissonance? No wait, cognitive dissonance was
a Youtube 20 minute TED lecture.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bottom of my TV screen was filled with a string of past
videos that resembled a group portrait of a dysfunctional family…but it was still
better than watching the election coverage…and then a good thing happened. A really good thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During my YouTube search, I came across video posts of a
Catholic priest, Father Ian Vanheusen. He does 1-2 minute videos that can carry
you through the day – “Our Mission”, “A Generation of Saints” and,
“Desolations” are a good place to start. I watched one every morning, and many
of them multiple times. His heart is full of God and wants us to realize that
we all live in a community of saints – everyone of us. Check him out on YouTube
or his website, ianvanheusen.com. You don’t have to be Catholic, you don’t have
to be perfect, you can even be unsure of God. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So not a bad deal. I lost Trump and Clinton, but gained God.
And that leads me to another thought from 2016 and Father Ian’s videos.
Sometimes I wonder if we’re more ocean than land. God finds us formless with
only rudimentary self-knowledge as we’re drifting through the troughs of the white caps. We slowly
get filled with God’s gifts as He pushes us from deep ocean to shoreline. He is
our following sea that propels us through the wave break toward land to use (or
not-our choice) those gifts for others in need. He waits, and if necessary pushes us
back out to sea for more nourishment, for more quiet, always wanting the best for us, always
wanting us to realize what’s important in this life, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>always hoping we come to know what matters, always hoping we come to know Him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll leave with more Anna Quindlen,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water
pushing itself on a breeze over the dunes, a life in which you stop and watch
how a red-tailed hawk circles over a pond and stand of pines... Keep still. Be
present.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy 2017!</div>
Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-54721792863247836382016-09-27T09:02:00.004-07:002016-09-27T09:02:50.097-07:00Why? Why Not? What's Next?<br />
<br />
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C_dVNMJX7BI/V-qUrlHOHxI/AAAAAAAAAkA/sWY5KkiMkPsqN-ML6XpyOf9ZO5HHJ6yvQCLcB/s1600/too%2Bsoon%2Bold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C_dVNMJX7BI/V-qUrlHOHxI/AAAAAAAAAkA/sWY5KkiMkPsqN-ML6XpyOf9ZO5HHJ6yvQCLcB/s320/too%2Bsoon%2Bold.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Too Soon Old, Too Late
Smart: Thirty true Things You Need to Know Now</i> by Gordon Livingston, M.D.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“…you can listen as well as you hear” – from The Living
Years, Mike and the Mechanics (1988)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Psychiatrist Dr. Livingston spent his thirty-year career
listening to people. He was a surgeon in Vietnam and received a bronze star
with a “V” for valor. There must be a story there, but he doesn’t tell it. He
also lost two sons within a year of each other; one a suicide, another through
leukemia. He doesn’t believe in God because of the loss, but he isn’t
judgmental about those who do believe. As a reader I sensed that he would like
to have faith if he found that God tried to chase his anguish and pain. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For me, most chapters rang true, but a few didn’t apply or
have meaning to me. But, oh boy, there’s one that favored baby boomers like me.
I would recommend this book. And no, I’m not going to list all thirty. The
following is a brief amalgam – mostly his, but some references mine. As you
know, sometimes I just can’t help myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Statute of Limitations Has Expired on Most of Our Childhood
traumas.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In life, we leverage experience for lessons. Memories from
our youth sometimes unexpectedly bubble up from our consciousness. They can
take the form of a slight, an embarrassment, a regret, or unforgotten pain.
They can come to the forefront as we age. Our youthful memories are forceful
because they are our first. Often I’ll be driving the car and for no apparent
reason I’ll say to myself, “Oh boy.” An embarrassing recollection bubbles up and
floats to the surface. The trick is to let it surface and dispel. Realize it
and let it go. I don’t always succeed, but I try. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Childhood is the training-wheels part of our lives. We sail
that ship out of the harbor and hit craggy shoals before we get to
open ocean. We don’t want to founder in the shallows and live there. One of Dr.
Livingston’s chapters is titled, “The Most Secure Prisons Are Those We
construct For Ourselves.” Enough said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why? Why Not? What’s
Next?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are the doctor’s favorite questions in therapy. He
says that most people don’t make the link between behavior and feelings. As
this paragraph title suggests, he writes that the most secure prisons are the
ones we build for ourselves, but that if we investigate <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i> prison breaks, the one constant in them is a lot of planning. The
only real form of communication is behavior, not intent or words – confession
may be good for the soul, but unless it’s accompanied by a considered behavior
change, it’s all dross. He writes…”I don’t give much direct advice in therapy –
not out of modesty or as a trick to get patients to come up with their own
solutions to problems, but because most of the time I don’t have a clear idea
of what people need to do to make themselves better. I am, however, able to sit
with them while they figure it out. My job is to hold them to the task…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In other words, to ask “why?” Why do they act that way? Then
to ask “why not?” when they construct barriers for solutions – and woven throughout
this process, he pushes the question, “what’s next?” Move them off the past and
present complaint to a future change, and “change is the essence of life.” He
writes that…”To take risks necessary to achieve this goal is an act of courage.
To refuse to take them, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of
despair.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Problems of The Elderly
Are Frequently Serious But Seldom Interesting</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, here we go...the bad news.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this society (and
others) Dr. Livingston writes that old age is seen as a time of entitlement by seniors
and stigmatized and infirmed by others. The idea the elderly have anything to
contribute to our culture is not given consideration. He states, “One reason
for our fear of aging is that those who have gone before us have, in general,
set a poor example. Most families I talk to see their aging relatives as a
burden. The idea that the elderly have anything to give the young in the way of
wisdom and life experience is seldom conserved. The reason: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">most old people are preoccupied with
self-centered. complaints….</i>’How are you doing?’ What could be less
interesting and more discouraging than a litany of aches, pains, and bowel
difficulties, delivered in the querulous tone of those who realize that what
they are suffering from is beyond remedy and getting worse?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, here we go…the good news.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I guess our elderly parents can have aspects of
burden, but it is a burden born out of love. They grew us into this life, and
we, if lucky, help them grow into the next. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re a baby boomer like I am, this chapter may be the
apex of the book. Although I’m still active, I can peek at diminution around
the edges of my life. I get emails from time-to-time from my high school,
college, and military alumni organizations informing me of peer obituaries.
What’s left for us besides senior discounts, “things aren’t what they used to
be” conversations over coffee, FB, and day-time TV?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just this. Dr. Livingston tells us that we are what we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> and it’s never too late to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i>. He writes that it’s the task of
parents (or others in similar roles) throughout our lives to convey to the young
a sense of optimism. “A conviction that we can achieve happiness amid the
losses and uncertainties that life contains is the greatest gift that can pass
from one generation to the next.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we can retain our good humor and interest in others even
as the curtain closes, we will have contributed something of inestimable value
to those who survive us. We will have thereby fulfilled our final obligation…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then, maybe this will happen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I wasn’t there that morning, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When my father passed away,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t get to tell him,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the things I had to say. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I caught his spirit, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later that same year,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure I heard his echo</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my baby’s new born tears.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just wish I could have told him, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the living years.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I like that song. I'll bet Dr. Livingston does too.</div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">
</span>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-52535234047126956922016-09-21T12:21:00.002-07:002016-09-21T12:21:44.642-07:00Leaning Into Lent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--1xTBw20tOc/V7G-Es0L4PI/AAAAAAAAAjg/jlnlHMW-uUw8Zx0Ij9YyPbMzy87UHDB9QCLcB/s1600/salt-249145_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--1xTBw20tOc/V7G-Es0L4PI/AAAAAAAAAjg/jlnlHMW-uUw8Zx0Ij9YyPbMzy87UHDB9QCLcB/s320/salt-249145_1920.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
(google images)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>(This is a re-post of a previous deleted post from April, 2016)</i><br />
<br />
<br />
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</xml><![endif]-->Sometimes I spend too much time leaning over and looking through
the rear-view mirror into the past. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Although the
celebration of Lent and the events of Easter this year are over, I’m still
thinking about them. When I started out I thought, another Lent, another
year. Then I read two things: One is a passage from a book and another a passage from a
newspaper article.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
At church we worship and honor God. It’s a corporate
gathering…but even during the Mass when we walk into the upper room to receive
Communion, we seek to lessen that distance between the alter and the first pew.
We want a closer connection at each worship, a thread that acts as a personal
bridge to God. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Things Seen and Unseen</i>
by Nora Gallagher, page 81.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>"The
geography begins in the desert. In the crucible of heat and sand, Jesus was
trying to figure out, as Frederick Buechner writes, “what it meant to be
Jesus.” In the weeks that follow Ash Wednesday, the Gospel readings recount
what Jesus did afterward. He traveled: to a Samaritan city, Sychar, where a
woman waited at a well; to a blind beggar’s village; to Bethany, home of Martha
and Mary’s brother, Lazarus. He walked from town to town, sat down at the table
with tax collectors and gluttons, talked to women, healed on the Sabbath, used
the wrong fork. It is not at all clear to me that he knew who he was, as in
“I’m the Son of God.” Rather, it looks more like he discovered, step by step,
more about himself as time wore on, as he walked, and waited, and healed”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boy oh boy.<br />
Jesus learning to be Jesus. I never looked at
it like that - so I spent some time during Lent thinking about that passage, and
I’m grateful to Nora Gallagher for those words. Before this past Lent; Him
going into the desert for 40 days, tempted, rejecting the temptation,
all contained lessons, but it’s difficult to relate to those things in a
personal way. In a way God wants.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We exist between the hour and the minute hand of life’s
clock; inside the strictures of defined time and space. After reading that, I
passed through Lent grappling with not only Jesus trying to be Jesus, but Jim
trying to be Jim. I’m getting old. I know the story of Easter, the Risen
Christ, I don’t need a “3 yards and a cloud of dust” lengthy Easter sermon on
those aspects of Lent. I don’t need to give up things, I just need to learn to
give up Jim. So I just wanted to concentrate on Lent and leave Easter and the Resurrection
for another year…until I read a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wall
Street Journal</i> article by James Martin, “The Challenge of Easter” published
on March 26<sup>th</sup>.<br />
Son of a gun.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you don’t believe in the
Resurrection, you can go on living your life while perhaps admiring Jesus the man,
appreciating his example and even putting into practice some of his teachings.
At the same time, you can set them aside because he’s just another teacher. A
great one, to be sure, but just one of many.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you believe that Jesus rose
from the dead, however, everything changes. In that case, you cannot set aside
any of his teachings. Because a person who rises from the grave…needs to be
listened to. What that person says demands a response.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
short, the Resurrection makes a claim on you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Martin goes on to explain that in Luke, Jesus carried his
suffering and his wounds through that mystery of Resurrection. He enticed the
apostle Thomas, when he met him after his death on the cross and Resurrection, to
touch the wounds on his hands and chest wound from the soldier’s sword. Jesus
carried those wounds through his earthly death and beyond. He wanted Thomas and
others to see evidence that the pain stayed with him. Martin states, “In other
words, he remembers his suffering. So when one prays to Jesus, one prays to
someone who knows, in the most intimate way possible, what it means to live a
human life. One also prays to someone who is not only God but man. Who
understands you.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In your past, present, or future circumstances have you ever
found yourself slouching on the outside of life’s window? Clinging for
purchase on the other side of the glass? Your hands and face pressed against
that opaque surface struggling to look in? Or known anyone who has? Martin
reminds us that Jesus is standing next to us in our pain and fear, his
wounded hand reaching out, his invitation of love extending to us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In this life, I don’t know of any teacher who can do that.
Even a good one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-56401761311331924162016-07-07T13:46:00.000-07:002016-08-09T14:56:01.403-07:00Memorial Day 2016: Talking To Tombstones<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c9X13YuzDs4/V36xTz4betI/AAAAAAAAAjI/Esr-TdecxFwUGTTFHejHoqKMtijS9B6oACLcB/s1600/10th_Mountain%252C_securing_road_%2528Italy%252C_1945%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c9X13YuzDs4/V36xTz4betI/AAAAAAAAAjI/Esr-TdecxFwUGTTFHejHoqKMtijS9B6oACLcB/s320/10th_Mountain%252C_securing_road_%2528Italy%252C_1945%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
(google image)<br />
<br />
Between 1942 and 1945, US soldiers as well as soldiers from the UK, Australia, Greece, and New Zealand funneled up both sides of the Italian peninsula, desperately seeking the German high ground. They fought for small patches in frozen ravines and mountain fingers and took massive casualties, then went to another valley and repeated the process. Moving up the central Italian spine took three years and 150,000 casualties. Italy comprised an abstract of stunning carnage.<br />
<br />
In Rick Atkinson's Pulitzer Prize winning <i>Liberation Trilogy</i>, <i>The Day of Battle</i>, the author recounts a speech at a military cemetery by General Lucian Truscott, the former commander of the 3rd Infantry Division, on Memorial Day in 1945"...just three weeks after the end of the war in Europe, a stocky, square-jawed figure would climb the bunting-draped chairs. Then Truscott, who had returned to Italy from France a few months earlier to succeed Mark Clark as the Fifth Army commander, turned his back on the living and instead faced the dead. 'It was,' wrote eyewitness Bill Mauldin, 'the most moving gesture I ever saw.'<br />
<br />
In his carbolic voice, Truscott spoke to the thousand who lay beneath the ranks of Latin crosses and stars of David. As Mauldin later recalled:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
He apologized to the dead men for their presence here. He said everybody tells leaders it is not their fault that men get killed war, but that every leader knows in his heart that this is not altogether true. He said he hoped anybody here through any mistake of his would forgive him, but he realized that was asking a hell of a lot under the circumstances....He promised that if in the future he ran into anybody, especially old men, who thought death in battle was glorious, he would straighten them out." </blockquote>
Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-84288348234210118102016-06-08T14:49:00.002-07:002016-06-08T14:52:54.218-07:00Free Goodreads Giveaway<div id="goodreadsGiveawayWidget188609"><!-- Show static html as a placeholder in case js is not enabled --><br />
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<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26842694"><img alt="Boston Harbors Murder by James Mullen" src="https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1443742452l/26842694.jpg" title="Boston Harbors Murder by James Mullen" width="100" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26842694">Boston Harbors Murder</a><br />
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<h4 style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0 0 10px; padding: 0;"><br />
by <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7068178.James_Mullen" style="text-decoration: none;">James Mullen</a><br />
</h4><br />
<br />
<div class="giveaway_details"><br />
<br />
Giveaway ends July 06, 2016.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
See the <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/188609" style="text-decoration: none;">giveaway details</a><br />
at Goodreads.<br />
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</div></div><script charset="utf-8" src="https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/widget/188609" type="text/javascript"></script>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-87517283246684652922013-04-29T10:51:00.000-07:002013-04-29T10:51:33.572-07:00I Wrote a BookGuess What?<br />
<br />
I wrote a novel. Yes, me! It's on Amazon in the Kindle store. $2.99 as an Ebook on a kindle or download an app if you have another ereader. It's my first novel - hope you like it. <br />
<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yv9xfB15Wvs/UX6x1Rzp1PI/AAAAAAAAAVo/ilrdXN4Wf-Y/s1600/KDP+final+cover.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yv9xfB15Wvs/UX6x1Rzp1PI/AAAAAAAAAVo/ilrdXN4Wf-Y/s320/KDP+final+cover.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
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Ckick on the link below to check it out and purchase:<br />
<span id="goog_1122284027"></span><span id="goog_1122284028"></span><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ketchum-and-Cobb-ebook/dp/B00CFB31E4">http://www.amazon.com/Ketchum-and-Cobb-ebook/dp/B00CFB31E4</a><br />
<br />
Regards,<br />
Grumpy (Jim) Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-68506818163461080412013-04-16T10:13:00.002-07:002013-04-19T15:32:00.938-07:00Play Ball....AgainNothing bad will happen at a baseball game - it's a rule<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JcXJdzAGcKs/UWxNhD6CbFI/AAAAAAAAAVM/CJqkeKk-xy8/s1600/baseball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JcXJdzAGcKs/UWxNhD6CbFI/AAAAAAAAAVM/CJqkeKk-xy8/s320/baseball.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<i>(google images)</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Last week, Donna and I went to our first baseball game of the year in Durham, NC. As we were driving into the parking lot, she glanced over at me and asked, "What's wrong Grumpy? You look strange - you're smiling ."<br />
<br />
" I'm happy. Baseball season is here and I love everything about it, everything; the smells, the blades of grass bordered by the white chalk, the noise, even the food. Thursdays are $1.00 hot dog nights! Baseball means the arrival of spring, better days coming, being outside at night, and cheering on the graceful activities of others. It's Disneyworld in 9 innings."<br />
<br />
The game is a paradox. It is a sport that has no time constraints; there's no overtime or defined periods of play - at or after 9 innings, it ends when one team wins. It is a game of numbers though. Batting averages, slugging percentages, earned run averages, pitch counts - all determine game outcomes and the continued employment of the players. The velocity of each ball thrown by the pitcher is displayed in miles per hour in large, neon, numbers on the center field wall for all to see. Durham is a minor league park but most pitchers in the majors have 5 or 6 reliable types of pitches crafted to confuse batters; and if they're really good, they will have a special pitch that is so complicated and awesome, it probably comes with its own 12 step recovery program.<br />
<br />
A 95 mph fastball will jet across the home plate in .43 seconds. The batter must commit to a swing on that pitch in .23 seconds (that's point two three seconds!). More numbers: the diameter of a baseball is 3 inches and the most favored surface of the hitter's bat is 2 3/4 inches (how does anyone get a hit?). Most defensive players have reaction time limitations based on their field position . The pitcher, and the lst and 3rd baseman can only lurch at a line-drive coming at them (or do nothing and hope that when the ball pocks their upper body, a rib doesn't get in the way.) Outfielders, shortstops, and 2nd baseman have more time, but not much, to anticipate where the ball should go.<br />
<br />
Watching the game, I got caught up in the numbers too. A man sitting in front had "Vieques, Puerto Rico" embroidered on the back of his t-shirt and I wondered how many people in my row could pronounce "Vieques" correctly. Not a big deal, just mind wander. I came up with 30%, looked at my row again, and upped it to 40: then noticed the man in the end seat with a sweater wrapped around his neck and a young child in his lap. If he didn't look like a professor, probably from nearby Duke, I don't know who would. I could ask him to officiate - he had kind eyes, so I jumped the probability to 60%.<br />
<br />
There are other numbers as well. The average salary of a MLB player is $3,400,000 for the 2013 season. They are definitely members of the two comma club. Which, of course, brings me to beer.<br />
<br />
I need look no further than my assigned row in section 208, to see that much of the goodwill and easy smiles are supplied by plastic cups filled with suds. I don't drink anymore, but any day now, when I'm waiting in the stadium's food line, I expect to hear someone step up to the counter and say, "Look, based on efficiency and concession line discipline, I'm ordering a large keg of beer. I'll need about 56 straws so that fans, several seats away, can use them to telescope into the keg. I know having a large keg in my lap will cut down on my game visibility, but this will save us all some effort."<br />
<br />
Which brings me to the Men's Rooms. In Durham, they are actually very clean, and given the extended use, very functional. I grew up in Boston's Fenway Park with the old trough urinals. A right of passage into manhood wasn't determined by how long you could hold your breath under water, but how long you could hold your breath at Fenway Park while "doing your business." <br />
<br />
So during last Thursday's 7th stretch, I went down the ramp to the Men's Room, walked in, and saw about ten young men lined up in front of the urinals against the wall. They were all wearing loud, printed clothes. I hadn't seen that many Madras shirts since the Kennedy Administration - it must have been new hire night at one of the nearby high tech firms in the RTP (Research Triangle Park), so I paid no mind. I took my place and all seemed well until the PA system started blaring a Blues Traveler tune. The Madras guys on each side of me started to head bob to the music. <i> Please God, keep the range of motion limited to their heads and neck.</i><br />
<br />
And he did... because nothing bad will happen at a baseball game - it's a rule.<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o782fsaKfOE/UWxN_x_CpFI/AAAAAAAAAVY/PZW2-6mgZAo/s1600/bulls+baseball+park.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o782fsaKfOE/UWxN_x_CpFI/AAAAAAAAAVY/PZW2-6mgZAo/s320/bulls+baseball+park.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<i> (google images)</i><br />
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<br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-20617063329119495572012-12-23T12:55:00.002-08:002012-12-29T11:31:57.085-08:00I'm Grateful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c-OUrdhcYIM/UNT_juEyHDI/AAAAAAAAAU8/gQPCflmh-m4/s1600/contentment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c-OUrdhcYIM/UNT_juEyHDI/AAAAAAAAAU8/gQPCflmh-m4/s320/contentment.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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At our Thanksgiving dinner, Donna asked me to say grace and continue our yearly Thanksgiving tradition of going around the table and mentioning what we are thankful in that current year. I've been married for 32 years and don't ever remember doing that before - no, not grace, the going around the table part. It seems like a nice thing to do though so we did, and as I recall I was thankful for family and the food on the table. I was brief, the turkey was getting cold.<br />
<br />
I'm sure we did that blessing every year, but I just don't remember. I used to work with a bookkeeper, Jenny, who gave her son the same Christmas card every year, put it away and gave it to him the following year. She used the same card for 21 years, then got a new one. I guess the son and I share certain traits.<br />
<br />
But I've been thinking about gratitude, since I gave it such short shift that day. Here's some thoughts:<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for my son Adam, his wife Alexia, and of course, pictured above, their son Gavin, now 15 days old. <br />
<br />
I'm grateful for a loving wife who has put up with me and my grumpiness for years. I'm sure she will be rewarded in heaven.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful that...."I still haven't figured it all out yet." Just when I'm ready to turn off the light switch and leave the room of people's charity and love, life shows me things. We all saw the recent internet photo of the NY police officer who gave the person in need some new boots and socks. As a police officer, he must see more misery in a month than I see in a life-time, but it didn't seem to make him callus - charity and love must fire his heart or he wouldn't have responded the way he did. I'm grateful to God for that realization and for him..<br />
<br />
We all hitch hike through the combination of life's speed bumps and open roads. I concentrate on the bumps too much, and I'm grateful that in the past two weeks, three people I can think of, have committed acts of kindness. It's not about me, they don't know me personally, so I know that the kindness they displayed must be an important part of who they are. Last week, I lost my wallet in a DC hotel (Crown Plaza, Tyson's Corner.) The bartender in the restaurant went out of his way to recover it, even after I had searched myself without success. He saw the wallet and returned it to me. He could have kept it.. I'm grateful for him. Then several days ago, Amy, an event host of<i> </i>the group<i>, Raleigh Write to Publish, </i>went the extra mile<i> </i>and<i> </i>made sure me and others were allowed into an important (to us) overbooked event this coming January. She didn't have to do that either. And last, and not least, I asked a free lance editor, Victoria Shockley (victoriashockleywrites.wordpress.com) to do a developmental edit of my book manuscript. I told her it didn't need copy editing, but after reading, "the aurora of bliss," and "She weighted at least one hundred and ten pounds," she went ahead with a complete word-for-word assessment - again, over and above what I asked or expected. Kudos and appreciation to all.<br />
.<br />
I'm grateful for strong black coffee in the morning.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for the chance to get into the day; those first few seconds in the morning when you open the door to witness God's first draft of the day; whether it be raining, clear, sunrise, or snow.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for good pizza.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for the absurdity in life. We have a President who's a smoker, thinking he can reform the entire healthcare system and a US Secretary of the Treasury who advocates higher taxation, but fails to pay his own income tax. I'm also grateful I can see the absurdity in <i>my</i> life. When I turned 65, I though I would morph into Henry Fonda with a cardigan sweater and a pipe. Instead I spent part of that afternoon dragging a small magnet at the end of a piece of twine around a pear tree in our front yard. A small machine screw had fallen off the bracket holding the noise suppressor of the chain saw I was using on the tree's branches. I knew the screw would be hard to replace and expensive - ergo, the magnet. Just then a car drove by the house and I could only imagine what the driver was thinking: I started to laugh. I'm grateful for that.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for our dog, Bruno. He was with me in the above incident and he's quite comfortable with the fact he possesses no sense of observed humiliation. No matter what, anything I do or say is ok with him. I'm comfortable with that too...and grateful.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful that in an age when many seek their own accommodation which can lead to sometime selfishness, my son is part of the US Coast Guard. When others see calamity and try to work around it, or away from it, the Coast Guard moves toward it. They may not always be called upon to be heroes, but their job is heroic.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful I can bench press my resting pulse (so far).<br />
<br />
I'm grateful for the gift of travel and especially the Alaskan cruise we took in September. We were pampered beyond belief. When we decided re-filling a water glass during a meal would require too much aerobic exercise, there were always waiters to do that for us. They fluffed the pillows and made the bed, turned down the bed and fluffed the pillows again - we cruisers all became quite accustomed to the service. I'm surprised they didn't carry us around the ship on a cushioned litter, one steward on each corner, so we could be presented to the main dining room like Cleopatra. Next time we'll ask. But I'm really greatful for guy we shared a cab with after docking and heading back to the Seattle Airport. He carried a fishing rod with him and explained one of his uncles (wasn't sure which one) paid for his passage for a family reunion. He didn't care much for the trip. When the boat docked in Ketchican, he moved down the dock about 300 feet and threw his line in over the edge of the pier - wanting to catch his supper. He was assailed by a flying squad of Ketchican police, Alaskan fish and game wardens, and some ship's crew; all pointing out numerous legal violations. Let me tell you he sounded bummed. He was forced to eat cruise food.<br />
<br />
He kept repeating to us in a pleasant, but fanciful way, " Back home, I'm off the grid. They don't know I exist because I don't believe in banks or credit cards. I'll only pay cash if I really need something and can't barter for it." Seems he is an illegal gold hunter in the California Sierras. He used to be able to get short-term permits to explore for gold, but the government stopped issuance when the Mexican cartels sent marijuana growers to the mountains of Northern California. From personal experience, he told us the growers would fire weapons at anyone approaching their plants, but that didn't seem to stop him. Gunfire, no problem: no permits, no problem. He spent his days avoiding government wildlife wardens, the DEA, and drug growers; all in his pursuit of the yellow. After telling the cab driver he really liked his ride, he mentioned he had a similar SUV, but with the windows shot out (I didn't ask.) He then got on his cellphone and called his sister, who was cabin-sitting his place, and inquired as to whether any of the wild bears had eaten his dogs (I didn't ask). He was one of the most pleasant and manic freebooters Donna and I have ever met in our travels, and without knowing exactly why, I think the country is better for having him in it.<br />
<br />
I await his reality show.<br />
<br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-87378707594812097242012-11-21T17:15:00.000-08:002012-11-21T17:22:21.489-08:00I Remember Raymond<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MlljTfDaABU/UK1j23ld7mI/AAAAAAAAAUY/5t3evkOCaO0/s1600/image+2012-11-21+0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MlljTfDaABU/UK1j23ld7mI/AAAAAAAAAUY/5t3evkOCaO0/s320/image+2012-11-21+0002.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
I just attended a funeral of a friend, Raymond Kelliher, PhD, in Easton, Massachusetts. Let me tell you about him and if you don't have anyone like him in your life, read this as quick as you can, then go out and find a person like Raymond and don't stop until you do.<br />
<br />
He had many outward accomplishments in life, but let's face it, that's not what's really important - it's how a person lives their life that matters. You can't feel, embrace, laugh with, and experience Raymond's impressive advanced academic degrees or his careers in education and business. I look back at the too few conversations I had with him, and those conversations felt like absorbing a warm sun on your face during a cold winter day.<br />
<br />
He had a gift. Meeting him was life giving you extra credit.<br />
<br />
When there was an upcoming gathering, I always asked, "Are Christine and Raymond going to be there?" When he met me, he would immediately push me (or anyone else he was talking to) into the front of the line of his thoughts and become genuinely interested in the events in my life; and then later, share his life with me because he honestly cared about what I thought.<br />
<br />
Nope, he wasn't perfect. We're all complicated and he had his particularities as well. At the service, his beloved wife Christine talked about his
tendency to stockpile. She once counted 78 cans of tuna in the basement
with expiration dates spanning over ten years ("Christine, don't throw them out, they're still good"). Most of us food
shop to satiate hunger, Raymond must have been looking for long-term
relationships. The supermarket checkout should have given him adoption
papers instead of purchase receipts, but there you have it.<br />
<br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but sometimes in conversation with people, I run out of words before the conversation ends. I then put some effort into taking a knee and letting the conversation's clock run out while still trying to keep eye contact so as not to offend the other person. Raymond never had that problem. The only break we had in conversations together was when we would laugh so hard the words wouldn't come. He didn't discriminate. His empathy, kindness, and humor shook hands with all comers - the man's auto mechanic came to his wake. Let me state that again, his auto mechanic came to his wake. He had that effect on people. <br />
<br />
<br />
I will miss him, but I will carry his voice with me and remember him fondly. It's hard, sometimes really hard, to understand why God needs a person more than we do here on earth, but acquiescing to that taking does not negate Raymond's kind and gentle existence in any way. Perhaps it honors him more if we, in life, find and value something honest, something funny, something kind...something Raymond, .<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
His last lesson to me was a stanza from a poem read at his service, Mary Oliver's <i>In Blackwater Woods</i>:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"You must be able</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to do three things;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to love what is mortal;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to hold it</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
against your bones knowing </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
your own life depends on it;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and, when the times comes to let it go,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to let it go."</div>
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<br />
Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-45670742802530685452012-10-03T11:02:00.002-07:002012-10-04T16:41:21.940-07:00118 stitchesWhen you retire, you may want to visit the grandeur of Machu Picchu, the stunning beauty of Phuket, Thailand, or repose in one of the geo-thermal lagoons outside Reykjavik - I want to do that too, but first, Donna and I are taking in something of equal interest and esthetic: we're visiting baseball stadiums around the country.<br />
<br />
When you watch the games on TV and the camera scans the stadium, you get a sense of the fans. Boston fans have the look of people that were subject to the business end of a Tazor, New York fans are constantly on their cell phones, St. Louis fans are engaged in the rhythm of the games in a knowing way, San Diego fans are happy and smiling (Is it possible to live in San Diego and be depressed?), Seattle fans look distracted as if they're trying to remember the last time they saw someone within the City limits who exceeded their body mass index. Baltimore fans tend to have jerky eyes, as if trying to follow the ball and not succeeding..<br />
<br />
But some of the best fans though, seem to be in that Paris of the Plains, the City of Fountains, the Mecca of the Mid-West: Kansas City, Missouri. And go there we did: Red Sox versus the Royals. Kaufman Stadium in KC was constructed in the second half of last century. During that period, stadiums were poured concrete: it's a building material that oozes coldness, density, and a paucity of personality. When they get torn down, no one's going to buying a chunk of stadium concrete as a memento. If you have any doubt, I give you the baseball fields in Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and Comiskey Park in Chicago as examples, but Kaufman's concrete must have been poured by people with good karma. The Park is friendly and impressive. The concrete smiles.<br />
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Red Sox lost and the game set a record for having three balks by pitchers - never been done before, but the KC fans made the game enjoyable with an air of good feelings.<br />
They reward a good plate appearance with a cheer even if it's not productive. Good people, good barbeque.<br />
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The baseball fans in Boston, before the game, get their game faces on and fret about how the upcoming game might be lost. In KC as you can see from the picture above, it's a time to party. I do have a complaint though, but it's not directed just at the Royals. Baseball was always a game of leisure - the national pastime- where you could bring a book, take a cell call, and talk to those around you. Watching the game was one of many options. No more. From the lst inning to the last the air is filled with as much noise as a NASCAR event. PA announcements, loud music, overblown baseball commentary fills the air every second. If you go to a hockey, football, or basketball game, loud noise is part of the experience, but baseball was always a venue where we, the fans, make the noise, not them. I always liked going to the Durham Bulls games and listening to the triangle high tech guys or the Duke students sitting around me and planning exactly where they were going to vacation in the South of France or other places I couldn't afford. The conversations provided comity and a certain egalitarianism. Now I can't even yell at the umps. They can't hear me. It's like deciding to go vegan after you're dead. What's the point? <br />
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Leslie is pictured above. She was one of the Royals staff who covered our section. She did something I've never seen at any sporting event. She went up and down the steps asking people in our seating grid if they were enjoying the game and if she could help in anyway. She was magnanimous to everyone, even the guys on their fourth beer. The first time she approached me, I was suspicious and looked at her as if she was passing the church collection plate and was expecting me to top it off, but it turns out she was the real deal and just wanted Donna and I to enjoy the game. I finally responded with, "Get Gonzalez to hit a two-run homer in the 8th," and she good-naturedly said she would see what she could do. Leslie, you were worth the trip.<br />
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The next day we drove to downtown to see what we could see. The City is impressive. They built buildings downtown, maintained them, then left them alone. They did not second guess with renovations or re-development - no "Kansas City 2.0". <br />
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On our last day we were having breakfast at our hotel across from the stadium. As happens in the Mid-West, we started up a conversation with the next table, a couple from Tuscaloosa. Turns out the couple were there for the afternoon game even though the man said neither he nor his wife followed the Royals in particular or baseball in general. His wife left the restaurant, but he stayed and told us she was being honored in a ceremony before the game for her work in the community of Tuscaloosa.<br />
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That City had a deadly tornado the year before. Deadly. An 80 mile path and a width of a mile and 1/2, destroying the City and in the area encompassing surrounding towns, in four days, over 300 people died. The tornadoes did not ask for any financial statements of its recipients, but cut through the area structures like it was tearing through the federal income tax tables; from "0" worth to infinity. The destruction involved mansions and it involved shacks... and his wife was the city planner who had to help put the City back together again.<br />
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He told us she had been working 11 months without a day off and her work was gradually getting harder. Finding financing for the high end property was difficult but doable, for the marginal properties it was something else. He knew she liked to sew, and in the past would get together with other ladies that sewed... and talked about, well, sewing I guess. So six months ago, he started building a concrete block building the size of a small garage next to his house. Last month, she finally took a day off and he hung a sign above the door that said, "Sewing Shop" and she got to enjoying herself.<br />
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Nice Couple.<br />
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If you're expecting me to connect the 118 stitches on a baseball and the sewing shop and come up with something of significance, you're wrong. I'll leave that to the smart people.<br />
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But we can all think about it.Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-50255504976149080642012-05-28T11:21:00.003-07:002018-01-10T07:59:08.134-08:00In Memoriam<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is the day, Memorial Day, to remember our war dead. For me that means a small group of people I served with in 1969-70 in Vietnam, but for you it may be another war in a different decade. My friends are frozen in time and place and the last part of their lives involved things like elephant grass, wait-a-minute vines, thump guns, LZs (landing zones), trip flares, puff the magic dragon, "don't mean nothing", and Victor Charlie - but their lives mean much more than that.<br />
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It is said as a cliche that our lives are like stones that are dropped in water and create a ripple that travels far beyond the original perimeters. But cliches become <i>cliches</i> because they are grounded in truth. We all exist and react to life in the moment, but our lives as a whole are permanently planted and nourished in time.<br />
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Several people have contacted me about their family members after my posts about "Treasure," "More Treasure," "Rest in Peace Doc", and "The Hurt Locker Hurts," I am grateful and feel privileged to connect with their memories. The fallen have left their measure in many lives long after they are gone.<br />
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Gone.<br />
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When I was riding my bike this morning on a green way path between two neighborhood developments, I was surrounded by tall trees that will bear witness throughout the day of people strolling, running, or like me, biking and enjoying the Memorial Day Holiday. Those gone before their time will never be able to experience those simple pleasures, or experience their first house payment, be filled with pride as their young child sprints to the school bus on the first day, embrace someone they love, receive the gift of an answered prayer, feel the joy of having a grandchild sit in their lap and give them a hug, know the curiosity and exhilaration of travel, and the thousand little things that life supplies. They will never feel the effects of Post-Combat Traumatic Stress Disorder because they never survived the combat.<br />
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For those I knew on the list, most very well, some very little, their lives ended in their twenties. You may have loved ones from a different time and a different war, but we are all connected, all of us, in our thoughts and prayers for them. They are in a better place now.<br />
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They mattered when they were alive.<br />
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They matter now.<br />
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My Friends:<br />
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William James Olson, age 21, Chicago, panel 10w-line 35<br />
David Winder (Doc), age 21, Pennsylvania, panel 10w-line37 <br />
Wilmer Matson, age 20, Nebraska, panel 13w -line131<br />
Rhea Kidd (Billy the Kid), age 26, Kentucky, panel 10w-line34<br />
Van T Wray, age 21, North Carolina, panel 10w-line36<br />
Arthur Munson, age 20, Colorado, panel 10w-line35<br />
Albert Flores Tristan, age 21, Texas, panel 9w-line125<br />
Richard Humphrey, age 20, Maryland, panel10w-line33<br />
Curtis Ringhofer, age 25, Minnesota, panel 10w-line36<br />
Raymond Souza, age 20, California, panel 10w-line 37<br />
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<br />Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-50243939558499873052012-03-05T11:35:00.001-08:002012-03-05T11:43:31.557-08:00A Way<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w2XISUrHRyQ/T1ULSPXOYeI/AAAAAAAAASU/30KCZS4ncgM/s1600/dsc01042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w2XISUrHRyQ/T1ULSPXOYeI/AAAAAAAAASU/30KCZS4ncgM/s320/dsc01042.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span id="goog_470546913"></span><span id="goog_470546914"></span><br />
I just returned from a week at the Monastery of Christ in the Desert in the Northern mountains of New Mexico. The Monastery can be found at the end of a 13 mile dirt road in the middle of a national park in the Chama Canyon area - the home of painter Georgia O'Keefe. The area is a place of interest.<br />
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I visited 9 years ago and promised myself I would return every few years, but as we mark time, time marks us as well. As you enter the dirt road toward the Monastery, you are presented with a lot of western high desert. Look forward and you see color striated pinnacles that mimic the hoodoos of Zion National Park, drive through another turn of the road and there are folding hills, dot spotted with pinion pines that mother the unsteady sagebrush against the constant push of the wind. Take another moment to look up and you will see the resolute cliffs composed of red rocks as if transported from Sedona: the continuing play between the sun and clouds offer a visual scene of gratification - God's creation as a motion picture. Negotiate one more turn and you expect to find Gary Cooper riding a Palomino with six gun drawn looking for cattle rustlers, but what you will find instead are 23 Monks, dressed in black robes, praying and chanting to God.<br />
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These men have turned away from the world's conversations to dedicate their existence in total praise of God. Their days comprise living under the Rules of St. Benedict, public prayers of office that have periods ranging from 15 minutes to one hour, starting at 4am and ending at 7:30pm that involve chanting (150 Psalms a week); daily Mass; manual labor, individual prayer, and 3 meals. The Monks are self- sustaining and self-supporting : they receive no money from the Catholic church and would have to close down if the money ran out. They take a vow of silence, trying to make it "as common as talking is in the secular world." They make and sell craft items at stores in Chama and Santa Fe, provide room and board for guests like myself at $60.00 per night including meals (enough for 20 guests), accept donations, and brew beer (<i>Monks' Ale: </i> made with care and prayer) which I'm told is very good.. What can I say. Life's a conundrum.<br />
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The Monastery was started by three Monks from New York in 1964. The Monks now range in age from 20 to 90 years old and come from many countries. Their mission is to pray for the world and give praise to God through the chanting of the Psalms - period. My understanding is that they do not leave the Monastery to evangelize, but do so by creating "...a sanctuary where both Monks and retreatants, Christians, believers in other faiths and those with no religious beliefs at all may experience something of that peace which the world cannot give..." They do. If I was asked to describe them in one word I couldn't - it would take two: happy and content.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_A8uPbRyi4/T1UMg4EbFDI/AAAAAAAAASk/C_Dl-Z8Wi44/s1600/dsc01044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z_A8uPbRyi4/T1UMg4EbFDI/AAAAAAAAASk/C_Dl-Z8Wi44/s320/dsc01044.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <i>(my room)</i><br />
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Usually my mind resembles the "scan" button on the car radio. Constant unrelated thoughts pinging against each other much like a cue ball in a game of pool between two teenagers after imbibing in umpteen energy drinks, that's me. So you imagine I'm not the best candidate for contemplative prayer, but the Benedictines don't go college on you. It's very basic and I only had to be in the church for one minute of chanting and praying on the first day to realize the specialness and good of it.<br />
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The first time I was there I was curious and just wanted to dope it all out, participate, then leave, but like anything else, with practice, God let's us see lower layers of ourselves. Through Him we realize there's more to us than we thought and more of Him in us than we thought. I've been back in North Carolina two days and find myself missing aspects of my visit already. They should have no worries though, there will be no "Brother Grumpy" in the future; I'm not cut out for that life ( "What, fish stew again! We had it last week!") and guess most are not either. But I take comfort in the fact that there are people in a wilderness worshiping God without interruption for a world they will never experience.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5lO7z7m6VMc/T1UM6SP-nlI/AAAAAAAAASs/CkYcLp9z0EA/s1600/dsc01046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5lO7z7m6VMc/T1UM6SP-nlI/AAAAAAAAASs/CkYcLp9z0EA/s320/dsc01046.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> (<i>guesthouse)</i><br />
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One word about the "silence" that seems to grab everyone's 'attention. There are places where you can converse with one of the Brothers if you have questions, it's no big deal. They will also readily break their vow if you need an answer on something important - they also took a vow of love that supersedes the silence. There are no creature comforts: no TV, electricity, internet, or cell phone reception. All good. I had a 5 hours layover in DFW Airport on the way back and assiduously stayed away from the hanging TVs in the terminals, I did not want to "catch up" and now that I'm home, sorry I have.<br />
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One more thing. I was there with a Methodist Minister and Presbyterian Minister last week. For a good part of the stay I was the only Catholic there. In a common area, Brother Andre asked me where I lived and I told him Raleigh, NC. He pointed out that two groups come every year from Duke Chapel and the Divinity School and mentioned their largest group was coming in April, a Southern Baptist divinity college in Waco. Point being, you don't have to be Catholic. Martin Luther is probably on his way there right now.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NXcTqZ7UJQE/T1UOKtei2MI/AAAAAAAAAS8/VaujLLU8Q9g/s1600/dsc01018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NXcTqZ7UJQE/T1UOKtei2MI/AAAAAAAAAS8/VaujLLU8Q9g/s320/dsc01018.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <i>(Common Room)</i><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">"Be Still and Know that I am God" Psalm 46.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eK3DWuEuVaA/T1UPSvuWKMI/AAAAAAAAATE/UDlPJyMkmlw/s1600/dsc01021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eK3DWuEuVaA/T1UPSvuWKMI/AAAAAAAAATE/UDlPJyMkmlw/s320/dsc01021.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <i>(Monk working)</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Check it out: www.christdesert.org<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--urnCUNmO_s/T1UQeLCr75I/AAAAAAAAATM/-GLPzZ2LW7I/s1600/image+2012-3-5+0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--urnCUNmO_s/T1UQeLCr75I/AAAAAAAAATM/-GLPzZ2LW7I/s320/image+2012-3-5+0001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-30269256823570445672012-01-29T09:02:00.001-08:002022-08-04T08:02:44.237-07:00A Purpose Driven Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J8FxnGG1wKg/TyMnlsbZXGI/AAAAAAAAARk/ffSJKCM9bNo/s1600/Point+Allerton.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J8FxnGG1wKg/TyMnlsbZXGI/AAAAAAAAARk/ffSJKCM9bNo/s320/Point+Allerton.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
<i>(courtesy - Google Images)</i><br />
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As I wrote in a previous post, my son Adam is in the US Coast Guard and is stationed at Point Allerton, a small boat station in Hull, Massachusetts just south of Boston. It is a noted Coast Guard Station because it is the oldest and it is the oldest because it was the first - founded by an extraordinary man named Joshua James - the father of the US Coast Guard.<br />
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He established himself as a "Lifesaving Station Keeper", at age 62: a given age, when time adjusted to the 19th century, would be well past retirement today. He formed a crew of 7 and then set about saving over 1,000 people in sea rescues: no one had done that before. The historical record on him is sketchy and I relied on internet sources and can only hope they are accurate, but there is enough about him from multiple sources to ascertain certain basic facts about his life:<br />
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-He lived from 1826 to 1902, 75 years. He was born in Hull, Massachusetts, 9th of 12 children.<br />
-He was a Lutheran who, like his father, read the Bible every day and was a Sunday school teacher.<br />
-He participated in his first sea rescue at age 15 and became an accomplished sailor in the waters around Hull and the islands of Boston. <br />
-He entered the maritime shipping business and became successful through gumption and frugality.<br />
- He once owned 25 schooners and contracted with the City of Boston to provide most of the cobblestones for its downtown streets.<br />
He gave each of his sons a schooner when they turned 25 and also had them participate in rescues.<br />
-He was humble. On his application for the Hull station, he merely wrote, "fisherman" next to his name. <br />
-He died at 75 years, after completing a life boat drill.<br />
-He died poor. A collection had to be made for his family. <br />
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As an aside, I have mixed feelings about those cobblestones. Like many older cities, Boston maintained those type of streets well into the 1950s. On our infrequent family jaunts into Boston when I was under 10, I remember negotiating the cobblestone crosswalks with difficulty. The stones provided a certain rough consistency for transport, but not comfort. These were not the smooth pavers on display at <i>Home Depot</i>, but thousands of buried stones angled and rounded in the expanse between buildings, each stone with its own unique rounding. Back then, the thoughts of a small boy did not carry any concern for adult women in high heels trying to maintain a dignified gait through those same crosswalks, but I wince when I think of it now.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4HVOSEeFKm8/TyMouYug7LI/AAAAAAAAARs/R_765F64BV4/s1600/cobblestone.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4HVOSEeFKm8/TyMouYug7LI/AAAAAAAAARs/R_765F64BV4/s320/cobblestone.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
( <i>courtesy google images-Beacon Hill, Boston)</i><br />
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I'm not much on facial analysis, but when I look at his picture, I see resolution. He looks focused in the picture, full of determination. I think trying to explain the concept of "downtime" to him would be a long conversation. I'll bet he could stare down a block of New Hampshire granite. Some people are like that.<br />
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But why would a successful businessman stop what he was doing and endeavor on a new path for little or no recompense?<br />
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The answer is said to be a family tragedy that occurred when he was 11 years old. His mother and young sister were returning from Boston on a schooner and a sudden squall hit while they were approaching the Hull Cut, 1/2 mile from safe harbor. The boat went down and them with it and the internet sources indicate he witnessed the event.<br />
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Or was it ego? Did he just want to go nine rounds against mother nature without meeting the canvas?<br />
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This is just speculation, but my observation is that ego centered actions are short-lived and Joshua James was not a road flare, but a long burning candle. The rescue numbers bear that out. I'm sure some rescues were easy, like a nautical beer run over a light chop, but most, by definition, were not. Ships falter in bad weather. An example is the Hurricane of 1888. He and his crew put oars down during the storm to rescue an imperiled crew. They rowed for almost an hour, then hit rocks, turned around, rowed back, got another lifeboat, rowed back out, saved four out of seven sailors, then rowed back to safety - against the worst sea the hurricane could present. In 36 hours, they rescued 29 people off 6 wrecks...without sleep.<br />
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We may not know his motivations, but we know his actions and those actions open up his window and when we look in, again, I don't think we see ego but something else. When catastrophe happens in our lives it affects us, it molds us. He could take his tragic events of his mother's death and fold his emotions into themselves; turn inward; call it "God's will" and get on with his business. Or take those events to a certain purpose. Perhaps James found that in life, the answer to his petitions in prayer were not the petitions themselves, but the answer was God. Perhaps by trying unselfishly to alleviate the burdens of others that life sometimes provides, he and his crew turned their own lives into a prayer - a form of worship.<br />
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I believe when we end this life we start another with God. Perhaps to get there some will take a non-stop flight, others will connect with varying layover times, but we'll get there. Or perhaps our means of transport will be in another form....a crew of 7, Joshua James at the tiller. You never know.<br />
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July 30th every year is designated "Joshua James Day" with members of the Point Allerton Station presenting the colors at his grave on a hill overlooking the harbor; that night 1,000 flares necklace the bay in celebration and memoria. His legacy labors in obscurity - I grew up in the area and never heard of him so I hope this posting helps. Our son Adam is last on the right in the ceremony below.<br />
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One thousand candles...One thousand lives.<br />
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-.Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-7491379835758836702011-12-28T15:55:00.000-08:002011-12-28T15:55:52.865-08:00Wretched Excess 2011-2012 EditionBehold the new $3.5 million dollar NC State Chancellor's mansion just opened this month. It is so big, it has a name, <i>The Point</i>. <i>The Point</i> backs up to Lake Raleigh on one side and expansive landscaping that increases the mansion's sweep on the other: better to be even more isolated.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xJ25TqHqU5I/Tvuq_PqGyUI/AAAAAAAAARc/yPBPSBwXWO4/s1600/nc+state+mansion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xJ25TqHqU5I/Tvuq_PqGyUI/AAAAAAAAARc/yPBPSBwXWO4/s320/nc+state+mansion.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> I suppose we should be grateful that construction jobs were created during the process, but the taxpayer's foot the bill (as usual). Enjoy the digs, Mr. Chancellor.Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-86075533199474249592011-12-13T12:44:00.000-08:002011-12-15T05:09:43.336-08:00Ending 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QKtJtWkeRas/TueXH4XQY5I/AAAAAAAAARQ/ZAEB5RxjVVE/s1600/DSC00851.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QKtJtWkeRas/TueXH4XQY5I/AAAAAAAAARQ/ZAEB5RxjVVE/s320/DSC00851.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<u><b>Do You Have Anything For Me?</b></u><br />
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Recently, Lucas, our next door neighbor, came up to Donna as she was getting out of the car, smiled and asked, "Do you have anything for me?" He is 4 years old and at that age his thoughts originate in his head and take a non-stop flight to the public runway without the benefit of any air traffic control. God encourages us to be like children and I think this is what He has in mind; total honesty and truth without any cultural or behavioral circumventions. In other words, people should try not to act like adults.<br />
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I don't know why Lucas said what he said since our meetings with him do not usually end in a gift presentation, but it was on his mind and he probably thought it would be a nice question to ask. Since he is one of the smartest people I know, it got me to thinking. Why not have a "Do You Have anything For Me" day? We could spend one day a year posing that question to those around us, receiving and then giving a compliment (and <i>only</i> compliments) to those we ask.<br />
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Unlike April Fool's Day, we would get some positive reinforcement. Most of us go through life without any structured encouragement so this could be a feel good day as well as an educational one. You get to learn something about yourself..."Me? You think I'm a good parent? Really?" Just a thought. As always, thank you Lucas!<br />
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<u><b>Best Travel Tips of 2011: Innocents Abroad</b></u><br />
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On Thanksgiving morning, Donna and I met a dear old friend at the airport. She is a former airline employee who has visited over 82 countries and travels alone. Her husband, Jay, has culinary tastes that exist within a very small range and is so finicky he will only travel to places he can get a hamburger/meat and potatoes prepared to his liking. He's not going to be trying out the Malabar cuisine in Riyadh's newest restaurant anytime soon; so his travel tolerance eliminates most foreign countries, and come to think of it, a good chunk of the US.<br />
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I asked her how she handles traveling alone since some of those 82 countries involve the third world and/or countries with high crime rates. She told me she has 3 rules she always follows. I'm sure these rules have been mentioned in one form or another in travel publications like <i>Conde Nast </i>and <i>Travel and Leisure</i> magazine, but they bear repeating. <br />
<ol><li>Dress like a bum - be sure you wear colors that don't match, fabric of poor quality, and design patterns that clash. She buys most of her travel clothes at thrift shops i.e., foreign thrift shops. She regards luggage as an unnecessary encumbrance and puts a change of personals and feminine particulars in her purse. That's it.</li>
<li>Shave your head - it makes you look odd and unapproachable.</li>
<li>Don't initiate any conversations - and she <i>has</i> found people on the plane usually keep their distance.</li>
</ol><div style="text-align: center;"> <i> Happy Trails To You </i><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><u><b>Best Dog Day of The Year</b></u></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"> One day we took our son's dog, Bruno, with us to visit Donna's stepmother at the local assisted living facility during their lunchtime. We walked into the expansive dining hall that contained about 30 tables, 4 residents per table. Most residents ambulate with the assistance of aluminum walkers that have two tennis balls affixed to the rear legs. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"> Bruno had a blast.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><u><b>Worst Dog Day of The Year</b></u></div><br />
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In September when we were up in Boston visiting our son, Donna received the following text on her phone from Sam and Jane who were dog sitting Bruno for us<br />
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<div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sam Felner, Friday Sept 30, 1:32pm</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Elias just peed on Bruno.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">--------------------------------------------------------- <span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"> No, Elias is a 2 year old boy.<br />
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<u><b>Best Book I Read in 2011</b></u><br />
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<i>Unbroken</i>: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, by Laura Hillenbrand. An inspiring story of someone whose life can barely be contained between the book's covers. He embodies the American spirit; he is what this country used to be about and will be again. Ms. Hillenbrand also is an interesting story herself. If you get time...<br />
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<u><b>Best Movies I Saw in 2011</b></u><br />
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Not a good year for cinema verite. Can you think of one good apocalyptic zombie movie this year? Just one? Me either.<br />
<i>Poirot: Murder on the Orient Express</i> - Yes, a familiar story, but the ending is terrific. Poirot (David Suchet) is holding a rosary, agonizing about the reconciliation of justice and mercy.<br />
<i>Fracture </i>- Guy kills his wife. Anthony Hopkins. What else do you need to know.<br />
<i>500 Days of Summer -</i> Ok, a superficial chick flick. I liked it. Don't tell anybody.<br />
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(Google Images)<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Wishing You All a Very Happy and Holy Christmas and an Outstanding 2012!</b></div><br />
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</div>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-46190669551251371742011-11-15T11:24:00.000-08:002011-11-16T04:04:24.459-08:00Bad Day At Black Rock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dNI1ZNto6-s/TsKRd_KhINI/AAAAAAAAAQo/pCfRSiQbmS8/s1600/DSC00819.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dNI1ZNto6-s/TsKRd_KhINI/AAAAAAAAAQo/pCfRSiQbmS8/s320/DSC00819.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I hate this. You could put your time to better use if you read something else besides this post. If you google , "Steve Jobs eulogy", a eulogy given by his sister the author Mona Simpson, you will be reading words filled with heart and soul. We should all have a sister like that.<br />
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Since I'm not taking my own advice, I will try not to make this too much like a whining screed. Several weeks ago I visited the new Martin Luther King Memorial, dedicated last month in Washington DC at a cost of 120 million dollars. It was a clear day, bracing temperature, the sky blue with occasional white clouds wafting and providing enjoyment to the morning. The air was full of autumn; God did good.<br />
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I had a flawless 45 minute flight from RDU's new terminal to National Airport, a pleasant ride free of turbulence. I then boarded Washington's premier "Metro" rapid transit and exited at the Mall. The Metro is a study in simplicity and accomplished architecture that has underground station stops of high design interest; filled with walls of continuous concrete, honeycombed patterns that on occasion make a rider feel they are in the last reel of a James Bond movie. I must say though that in all my years I have never seen anyone actually talk to someone else during the ride, but that's a big city for you.<br />
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I exited the Metro and proceeded west toward the Tidal Basin and walk I did. I knew the King Memorial was across from the Jefferson Memorial, but I could only see the continuous treeline that hugged the water. "Keep going, you can't miss it, " was what everyone told me, but I almost walked past it and would have, except for a very modest sign by the parkway. There, among the trees was a large block statute, about 2 1/2 stories tall, of Martin Luther King. The overall setting reminded me more of Joyce Kilmer than MLK.<br />
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The Memorial is an elegant and simple affair. As you can see from the photo above, a large stone block protrudes from the middle of a stone mountain. This is an allusion to a line from his "I Have a Dream Speech", but you wouldn't know that because the Memorial doesn't provide the speech in any form. The block is back grounded with one or two sentence quotations of mixed remembrance on a wall that resembles a breaking wave, curling away from the block in descending height: that's it. I'm sure the designers are sensitive about "disney-fying" the structure, but surely in this age of mult-media, Dr. King's "Letter from a Birmingham Jail and the "I Have a Dream" speech, among others, could be somehow displayed. <br />
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There wasn't another park ranger tour for another 2 1/2 hours so I asked the nearby landscaping crew why it wasn't larger. They laughed and said I was the only person to complain about the size - they all thought it was fine and that it appears larger at night with light shadows washing over the Dr. King's chiseled profile and the nearby trees. The crew was quite happy with the Memorial: I was not - so you see my opinion on this may not be universal. <br />
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If you think of the great leader monuments at the Mall, the Washington Monument and the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials, Dr. King should have had a place as grand and elevated as them - and he doesn't. If you consider their longevity on the country's main stage: 8 years of Washington to clear the path for political primogeniture, 10 or so years for Jefferson to imprint democracy's concepts through the Federalist Papers (with help from John Jay and James Madison) and the Declaration of Independence, and only 3 years of Lincoln, our greatest president, Dr. King was on that public stage from 1955 through 1968, a full 13 years. He was not just a leader of an ethnic group , not just an advocate of group civil rights, but one who held up a mirror to the country and asked us to live up to what we can be, live up to our words, become America and everything that it embodies - we're better than this - he urged us on and made the country better. We inched closer to our true beliefs.<br />
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Dr. King held up that mirror to us for 13 years and he never put it down. He held it with a firm grip, unwavering, confrontational even, but always with love, always with God. Dr. King said that "any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust." That is why his Memorial should be just as grand in size and scope as the others, that is why Dr. King's legacy is so important. Calling him a leader of the "civil rights" movement seems limiting and rigid because he was more, he was a leader of the country.<br />
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As I left to head back to the airport, I passed the WWII Memorial. It too is hidden in the trees. Apparently sight lines and landscaping concerns over rode our remembering the country's role in that War. When funds were being raised for the Memorial, I wondered how the designers could encapsulate the scope, the bravery, the horror, the gravitas , and the country's determination to win. The answer was they didn't; I don't think they tried. You could walk past the Memorial without noticing and I feel bad for someone who comes from any distance to see a circular sea of granite with engravings of battles on it. It looks like a structure designed by a homeowners' association.<br />
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Currently we don't live in an age of giants so I guess it is not surprising we create memorials that are lacking. Dr. King, Jefferson, Washington, and Lincoln put the nation's welfare above themselves, their wants and ideology. Today our political leaders seem seek their own accommodation. I'm enough of a realist to write that last sentence, but I also believe that others will come - a future Lincoln or Washington.<br />
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Perhaps one of the young people who come to see Dr. King. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8-85XNvtS7A/TsK01pekAMI/AAAAAAAAAQw/SPYtfMwZRLM/s1600/DSC00812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8-85XNvtS7A/TsK01pekAMI/AAAAAAAAAQw/SPYtfMwZRLM/s320/DSC00812.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248284889368188149.post-3344401261692288702011-10-12T04:49:00.000-07:002011-10-12T04:51:44.132-07:00Miles of Tiles: Gridlock and GodTwo months ago I went up to Boston to help my son get settled in the Coast Guard. One day we found ourselves driving in the Winter Hill section of Somerville just north of Boston. The area is a magnet for young sophisticates, college students, the newly married, and by people overloaded with <i>duende</i> and <i>cool</i>...in other words people not like me. The narrow streets off Davis Square that we were driving were closely shouldered by a mix of older, single, and multifamily homes. The homes were mostly an off- shoot of the "Irish Battleship" structures...three deckers, three stacked shotgun houses similar to those in the Garden district of New Orleans, except with porches. They were old and honest and for the most part met the sidewalk without the benefit of grass.<br />
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At one intersection I looked to my right and just past the chain link fence saw a statute of Mary holding Jesus. The statute was at one end of the small plot, looking outward. It appeared that Mary had suffered quite a few New England winters so that her alabaster halo and soft, blue coating had faded. The size and placement of Mary showed no theological narcissism by the homeowner, no tub thumping evangelism. I like to believe that someone put the statute there so that during our busy day, we could, if we wanted, take a minute of worship and reflection. I delighted at this and hoped that delight pleased God. Surprises like that are what I miss about Boston.<br />
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I now live in the Bible belt in North Carolina, so worship is no stranger to the area, but many Southerners (and Northern transplants) also worship procedure and propriety and in the PUD (planned unit development) administrated by the HOA (Homeowners' Association), where I live, Mary would be subjected to a "mother may I" neighborhood meeting which would define the outer boundaries of patience and be subject to all the regulations of any lawn ornament. It's too bad - that tendency makes us smaller. As Mark Twain said, it's "good in the worst sense of the word", and we don't always realize it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-djcHZ-ZoQxk/TpS6tD5InaI/AAAAAAAAAQc/iK1Im8wVqRM/s1600/1184868850_6309.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-djcHZ-ZoQxk/TpS6tD5InaI/AAAAAAAAAQc/iK1Im8wVqRM/s320/1184868850_6309.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<i>(google image)</i><br />
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Two weeks ago Donna and I went back up to Boston to visit. I had never paid much attention to the depressing of the Central artery. Officially called the "Central Artery/Tunnel Project", the Big Dig encompassed transforming an elevated highway into a tunnel, freeing the ground space; a southern approach tunnel to the airport, and a northern collection of s-turns, off-ramps, and a warren of signage enough to confuse a NASA satellite. I won't go into the project itself; budgeted at 2 billion dollars, came in at 23 billion dollars - says it all. Supposed to be completed in 1998, completed in 2006 - says it all.<br />
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Boston is an elegant city with a sense of history and deserved better. Prior to the Big Dig, the Artery looked like the result of Boston challenging Portland to a knife fight, losing, then being left with a jagged edged, swollen scar that ran across its entire face. The project would bury that loss, improve traffic gridlock, and join the Italian North End with the city's downtown and the financial district.<br />
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But at what cost?<br />
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In the past when driving the Artery in gridlock, the traffic moved with all the speed of lava flowing uphill, I would look out beyond the guardrails of the elevated road and see the magnificence of the Rowe's Wharf building and the large corner clock, slouching atop the South Station train station. The clock was broken from the mid-sixties to the late seventies (Was time too expensive during those 15 or so years? Or too insignificant?) I would gaze at the Boston Federal Reserve building that was tagged "the Venetian Blind" and it addressed the street at such an odd angle that you would think its front side had changed street location every night. It was also nice to look at the lonely rooftop apartment in the financial district, one side glass walled with palm fronds. I fantasized the renter was a Left Bank artisan from Paris who moved to Boston for better light. These were pleasant and distracting thoughts as the on-ramp car next to me was forced to cant so close that the car's driver side mirror was trying to sexually force its attentions on my passenger mirror. No fun that.<br />
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Two weeks ago when Donna, Adam, and I used the tunnel to go through the city, the traffic flowed very smoothly (I'm no fool, I didn't test it in commuter hours), but I wonder if I was wrong in my previous post about the Joni Mitchell song. Perhaps something<i> is </i>lost when something is gained. Years from now, the gridlock will reemerge and if we ask a tunnel tile what color it is, it will plead the 5th Amendment. And there will be no sense of the City, no broken clocks, no rooftop apartments, no statutes of Mary.... just....<br />
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...miles of tiles..Grumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229283225485250562noreply@blogger.com0